Thursday, August 11, 2011

Terrifying or encouraging???

I just read this article about Kathryn Stockett, who wrote the book The Help that was then turned into a movie.  I've seen previews for it and I'm excited to see it and read it.

Anywho, in this article she talks about how she was rejected 60 times, SIXTY FRICKIN TIMES YA'ALL, before someone finally accepted her book.  I cannot imagine a stack of 60 letters saying 'I'm sorry you spent all those hours/years writing this, but it sucks so no thank you' sitting next to you day after day.  That's a big ass stack, but all those voices and signatures and rejection turns it into an elephant farting fireballs at you.

I give her hecka props for continuing her quest to get published, and love her confessions of lying to everyone about what she was doing because they'd given up hope on it ever happening.  That freaking rocks! That's a big FU to those who had no faith or confidence in her talent, she wanted it and by golly she was going to have it with or without their support.  I LOVE that.  I also giggled when she said that while in labor, she had to rewrite the last chapter before she left for the hospital and then later the nurse at the hospital made her put the book down because it was time to push.  AWESOME.

I'd like to say I'd be able to do that, that I kinda sorta have since I've been writing now for 17 years and haven't given up even though I have NEVER finished a book, only short stories, and that bugs me to no end that I get stuck at the same spot every single time.  But I keep trying, I keep trying because I do want it and hopefully one day I'll find my magic button and know how to get past that point.  Then I think about the rejection letters...that scares me.  I already think I suck, but I love to write so I keep going, and knowing that I'm going to have someone tell me the story I worked so hard to create, is crap and they want nothing to do with me totally kills my buzz.  Do I really want to have someone verify what I already think of my work?  Can I handle another person telling me how inadequate I am?  Can I keep going after 5 or 10 or hell 60 rejections?

I don't know, I really truly don't know. 

I'm not on a mission to make everyone like me, or praise what I do, uh uh that's not my thing.  And I know people like what I write, I have friends and family who ask me all the time if I've written anything else they can read because they love my stuff.  And I know that the first agent/publishing house I send my book to won't say yes let's publish.  I'm not that shallow...or optimistic however you want to look at it.  It's that I've always been told how terrible I am at something (damn near everything I've tried) by so many, that the few times I get a 'good job Nik' I don't know how to take it.  I want to be good at SOMETHING, and this is my baby, this is my hobby and its what gets me through things and what entertains me and makes me feel will I handle being told I'm sorry but your book is terrible and we won't publish it?

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