Friday, May 18, 2012

Where I walk...alone...with my daughter...omg

About 9am this morning I had the idea of going for a walk with Jocelyn.  Alone.  This isn't done.  Like ever.

I sat and worried and paced and chewed my nails until 11:45 when I finally told myself I'm going.  I am going and it will be fine.

Took me another 15 minutes to get myself out the door. Finally, I loaded her up in our stroller, or scooter as she calls it, and out the door we went.

Love my ensemble?  I was rocking the nerdy, pale white girl workout gear big time.  I own nothing to work out in.  Well not really, I own a pair of sweats, and a too small sports bra...but the sweats are my pj's...the sports bra is my hat for my naked rain dances.

We walked around the block one time.

I could have done another lap or three, maybe,  it's 85 and the only thing saving us was the wind plus I'm wearing new sneakers and they do not help my shins like the Sketchers Shape-ups do OMG NO, but I stopped with one.

That was my goal.  Just once, survive the trip without any accidents or issues, or the world ending, and try again tomorrow.

It's beautiful out there.  Bright, sunny, flowers everywhere and on one spot there is this giant willow esk tree that hangs over the fence.

It's like walking through a mystical, magical tunnel where faeries live.

Even Jocelyn had to admire the tree.

Or for me anyway, I'm a sucker for trees and shady spots.  Makes my heart go pitter patter.  And my imagination throw a party.

As usual, once I get into the act, I'm fine.  The anxiety that was eating at me all morning just went away a few feet into the walk.  That's when I noticed how beautiful it was outside, slightly hot and sticky humid, but beautiful.  I looked at the neighbors flowers, wish I had some in my yard.  I looked at all the trees...again wished I had some in my yard.  I looked at all the fluffy white clouds in the bright blue sky, thought I saw a penis and a giant turtle.

I focused on all that and NOT on what I was doing and it was fun.

I want to do it again tomorrow.  I want to make this a daily thing, more than once a day.  Get my ass out there damnit!  Get some of this flubber off!

Of course I can say that now...come July when it's 105 and so humid you can't breathe and are covered in sweat the second you step out the door, I will probably be barricading us all inside to protect us from the burning fire of hell that's out there.


P.S. Forgive the not so great shots, they are iphone pictures, what can you expect! photoshop skills suck too.

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