Mother's Day

Last Mother’s Day I found out I was pregnant with Jocelyn. It doesn’t feel like it has been a whole year since that morning. But it has, and she’s here and perfect and whole. I could go the rest of my life without any more Mother’s Day gifts, because I have them, I have my son and my daughter and my wonderful husband, I don’t need anything else.

This weekend Bo and a friend of ours put together a wooden swing set for our backyard. I don’t know what it is about objects, but just looking at it makes me feel more like a mom. I remember being pregnant with Bailey and looking at the things we’d bought for him, all put together in his room made me want to cry. I was going to be a mom, a dream I’d had since being a little girl, and all those things signified that my dream had finally come true. Even after he was born looking at him and all his baby things was emotional for me. And now this swing set in our backyard, makes me teary. My little boy will be 4 years old in just a couple weeks. He’ll be going to school soon. School! My baby boy is almost in school! That swing is just a reminder that he’s growing up and there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it. As sad as that makes me, it’s also exciting to see we what kind of person he’s going to become, and who Joss is going to become.

It’s just wood and screws, but it’s a reminder that we are a family.