Thursday, August 13, 2009

Clinton and Stacy would be pissed

I remember hearing about kids who would only wear one outfit, every day, and throwing a huge fit if it needed to be washed or the idea of a new outfit was introduced. I never quite understood how parents could feed into this. It’s one thing to let them choose what they wear, another thing to let them dictate how often and for how long even when told its time to change. That, to me, was letting them over rule the parent. From as early as I could I let Bailey pick his clothes. Even when shopping I’d hold up two outfits to him and which ever one he touched we bought. He’s always picked his clothes, but we had the final say. Until recently.

Over the past few weeks he’s discovered his love of pj’s. Now I admit, I agree with him on this one. There is nothing more comforting than lounging in your comfy pj’s all day. Except you can’t do it daily. The first few times I let him, because, come on, most days I don’t shower and I live in sweats, who am I to judge. But then I started making more of an effort to get dressed into something not sweats. Because you can’t teach something your not willing to do yourself. However, the damage had been done, he loved his pj’s too much. Shit.

My brain flashed back to a time when I thought all those parents were letting 3 foot tall mini me’s control them. Here I was in that position. And you know what, now I see why. It’s picking your battles. If it will make the day go smoother, let them wear it. If it will make them happy, let them wear it. Because in the end, is it worth the fight? Is it really worth the yelling, the time-out and any other punishment to get them to listen? No. What they wear is not some horrible issue. If they treat people badly, it is. If they do not follow the rules, it is. But wearing pj’s instead of actual clothes, that’s not hurting anyone. Whether we like their choice of combination or not, it’s them being them. And the only way to teach them to be themselves is to let them.

It’s not about control like I thought. Control, is wanting them to do it your way only. It’s not being open-minded, it’s not being cooperative. It’s not setting a good example. So here I am with my mini me, who says nope I want to wear my pj’s again and it’s Thursday and he has worn nothing but pj’s all week, and you know what I say, ok. Because he’s not ruling me, he’s not overriding my authority. I picked out those damn pj’s after all. I made a good choice it seems, if he wants to wear them every day.

No comments: