Thursday, April 08, 2010

Bamf...with a p on the end.

If you don’t know what that is, youtube Dane Cook Bamf. It’s a good laugh.

I added the p, so it now means Bad Ass Mother Fucking Pain. That is the definition of how poor Bo feels right now.

His surgery went great; they did the snip snip and a removal. He has 9 staples in his groin area, or he thinks its 9, but I’m not looking to see for sure. I will totally take his word on this because well that kind of thing gives me nightmares. Yes world, I could not stomach being a nurse. I can handle blood and scrapes and scratches, but incisions cannot do. Nope nope. But I will help him if he needs me to, somehow I will find it in me to not throw up if I have to put the antibacterial ointment on him. He’s witnessed me giving birth twice, and has helped me out of the shower afterwards and helped with my undies, I totally owe him.

The day started at 9:30 at the hospital and we didn’t leave until around 5. At that point I really wasn’t paying attention to the clock anymore so it could have been 4:30 or 3:30, but I do know we were home at 6. That was when I FINALLY ate something. Although it wasn’t easy to eat and not toss it, but I got through it somehow. Oh yeah I had part of a pop-tart, but that doesn’t count. He’s managed a few things and is still starving, at the moment he’s eating oatmeal. He’s working up to the Shakes Carmel Fudge Brownie Concrete that is sitting in the freezer for him. It is a rule in this house, that if you have to go to the doctor you get ice cream after. He was told to have a liquid diet for the rest of the day and slowly work up to solids. I personally think the Concrete is a liquid, since it melted into a thick soup on the way home but is now frozen solid. The nurses may not agree, but I think he deserves it after what he’s been through today.

How did I do? I did…I managed not to toss my coffee. I managed to not collapse. I managed not to hyperventilate. But other than that I was shaking, couldn’t stop moving some part of my body, fidgeting constantly and jumping at every door that opened. I’m sure the people in the waiting room thought I was on something. I couldn’t help it, and they better be glad I was that in control. I could have been sobbing or throwing up on them. I got through, it wasn’t easy by any means but I did it. I kept repeating that it’s a minor procedure that he’s an out-patient, and if it was something serious he wouldn’t be going home after. But my imagination doesn’t give a crap, just keeps repeating and repeating my worst fear despite the research and the info we’ve been given. Miss, I did deep breathing but no tapping sorry. I figured with all my fidgeting and readjusting my body every 3 seconds, tapping would have sent some of the people around me to the nurse’s station to report me.

There were two moments today that took my breath away, and they are neck in neck on greatness. The first one was when the doc came out and said he was fine, everything went great. I could breathe finally after that. I wasn’t so anxious, or scared. He was fine but now I had to wait to see him and that was a whole other level of anxiety. The second moment was when I saw him. He saw me and started waving me over, even drugged and in lots of pain he was so happy to see me and had to give me a kiss right away. I had tears, I admit it, that he couldn’t stand another second not touching me.

I’ve heard many times throughout my life, and recently due to his surgery, that there’s nothing compared to giving birth and men have no place to complain. I’ve never agreed with that, I still think these people are messed up. It doesn’t matter what it is, it’s still pain. There is no competition over who has had the worst or who can stand the worst pain. It doesn’t matter, and I don’t get how people think that way. Bo is a tough guy, I mean seriously the man has dealt with a constant pain all of his life, that hopefully is now fixed, had a broken collar bone when he was 15 that was never properly taken care of, stupid ass doctors, that causes him pain and other issues, he’s not a pansy by any means. If he’s showing signs of pain, it has to hurt and hurt bad. I’ve given birth without drugs twice, it hurts like a son of bitch, but I am not conceited enough to ever say or even think that a guy cannot come close to that kind of pain. My baby is hurting and I hate it, so people please don’t utter those words, you may get a surprise for your rudeness….and stupidity.


Jodene said...

Wow my darling, you swept me away today. I totally felt like I was right there with you feeling your anxiety and then your relief. I wish you'd stand on a soap box and tell people to get other their competitive spirit between men and women ... I'm with you ... pain is pain!

I'm so happy that Bo is fine and recovering well ... and I'm guessing the ice cream had a great deal to do with it!

I posted on my comments to you, but just double asking ... please write to me ... I so wanna get in touch and say 'hi'!

ericka @ alabaster cow said...

stopping by and now following from MBC. you're a great writer and i enjoyed this post! so glad bo is doing well and i totally agree with your view of people who believe that birth is the most painful experience ever. you're right. it's pain, not a competition.

Nikki said...

I emailed Jodene, and thank you!

Welcome Ericka! Thank you as well for the comment! I checked out your blog, following now, and girl you totally crack me up! Great blog.