Sunday, April 11, 2010

Slow better win the race

The healing process is going slowly around here. Bo is pretty much in the rocking chair all day. Even sitting in the dining room chairs is difficult after a short time. But, he’s not letting it get him down, still just as goofy and weird. Although he’s now realizing how much he laughs, since laughing hurts his incision. By the way, his incision is high up in the groin area or lower abdomen; it means every movement pulls the staples. Yeah ouch is right.

So heads up, vasectomy a slightly annoying irritation, but having surgery done in the groin area that results in staples and a wound about 4 inches across, LOTS OF PAIN.

Having his mom here has been amazing. I know she’s bored off her butt, but she’s helping me with the kids and cleaning. I think I would have pulled out my hair at this point if it wasn’t for her. Jocelyn is teething = extreme cranky child. Bailey wants to play and doesn’t like/understand that Daddy can’t play. Then there’s Bo, who is finally able to walk to the kitchen to get something, but still needs most things done for him. It’s been tough, tougher for him I know, but she’s been a huge help. Thank you so very much, Bonnie.

When your partner isn’t there or able to help, it hits you just how much they do help and how much you count on them. Even though she’s been a huge help, it’s not the same, it’s not him. He can’t help me get the kids ready for the day or for bed. He can’t help me get dinner completed and the table set. He can’t hold me at night while we sleep. He can sit and observe and help with his voice, and that’s it. It’s tough, for all of us and it seems to be dragging on so slowly.

Since this operation I have:

Gone grocery shopping by myself for the first time in I don’t know how long. It’s a family affair, so being alone was weird and very lonely.

I mowed the backyard! Ha yup me, drove a riding lawn mower and mowed! BY MYSELF. The last time I mowed was like 10 years ago…I think anyway.

I’ve given the kids baths, got them dressed, fed them, played with them, put them to bed, got them up….blah blah all that parenting involves, without him.

There’s more, obviously I’m doing everything without him, but it’s crazy these three are the most I notice. Grocery shopping is something we’ve always done together; not having him with me was beyond strange. It didn’t feel right. He does the yard work, peeps I grow weeds; I am not an outdoorsy type girl. I love nature, I love sitting out in the shade, listening to the birds and all the animals at the end of the day. But yard work is so not my thing. Except I had fun, what do you know, and I have no issue doing it again which I will have to in a few days. As long as it’s the backyard, the front yard people can see how bad I am with that thing, LOL. Then there are the kids, with the two of us we can each take one and go. We each know what the other is to do, when to do it, without a word. Not having that, means I have to plan things differently. I have to organize differently. It’s strange to have to think about it so much, when before I didn’t have to.

I’ve mentioned before that I have tons of respect for those doing it on their own. I don’t know how you do it, and I hope to never have to figure it out.


-MissC* said...

My dear,
I know you think it's stupid But I am so proud of you. This isn't easy I know. On top of the emotional aspect for you. It's hard to see our big strong men in weak moments.
I love you and i think you are doing an amazing job.

Brenda said...

Go You! I am not an outdoorsy gal either. And I have never ever mowed our lawn yet. So there.=)

Free2bMommy said...

Hope your hubby is back on his feet soon. For both of ya!

I love your blog! I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and have had it since I was a child. I am now dealing with an anxious child of my own. Your honesty is refreshing!


Nikki said...

Thank you Miss! MWAH!!

Hey Brenda!! Well you beat me, hehe. You'd think with women on both sides of my family having glowing green thumbs I'd have some knack for it...but nope I got the cooking gene instead.

Dee welcome to the Cafe! Hugs to you for living with the anxiety yourself and now helping your child with it. It's tough and it's ugly no matter if its you or someone you love going through it. Thanks for following my blog, I hope we can help each other get through this with a smile on our face.