Tell me this ends!

When Bailey first started crawling and began putting stuff in his mouth, we only told him no a few times before he understood.  He began bringing us things and learned right away that unless Mama or Daddy gives it to you it does not go in your mouth.

Jocelyn however still thinks EVERYTHING goes in her mouth.  From shoes to keys to old food that somehow was hidden...ahem Jocelyn, you name it if she can find it it goes in her mouth.

We are on a constant parade of getting things out of her reach as she will grab something while you're distracted and hide it.  Oh yeah she does.  Not only that but if she sees it she thinks its hers and you can say nononononononononono and she'll still go for it and give you a great big smile like see I can get it.  No is yes for this child.

PLEASE TELL ME THIS GOES AWAY!?!?!?!?

I'm beginning to say this more than once, every single day and I'm considering having it put on a plaque and mounted on the wall, Bailey spoiled us by behaving so well.  We have no idea what to do with a child that refuses to mind, does her own thing and seems to think everything is edible. 

She's too young for timeout.  Distracting her does nadda as she just goes and gets into trouble somewhere else.  Giving her lots of things to play with just means she can make a ramp to get more stuff or she tries to eat it.  I've tried swatting her hand, and all she does is look up at me with a look like 'What the crap did you just do?' then goes right back to doing what she wasn't supposed to.  There were a few times where I did this and she ignored me entirely.

I need help Mommy's!  What the crap do I do?  Other than put her in an entirely empty room, I'm at my wits end trying to figure out what works with this child.