Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Dear Jocelyn

As of now you are no longer allowed to:

Have a cup with any liquid inside in the living room.  You purposefully spilled your milk on you and the ottoman, luckily I caught you after only a few drops.  Then you found Bailey's cup from this morning and used the straw to color your legs, arms, shirt and couch with chocolate milk.  THEN you took your cup and again purposefully spilled the remainder of your milk all over the cardboard box/house, making sure your back was to me so I couldn't see what you were doing until it was too late.  All back to back, barely giving me time to clean up each spill I might add.

Have a pen, crayon, pencil ANYTHING that leaves a mark of any kind ever again.  You colored the windowsill, and although I was telling you no no and to stop you just kept coloring in a mad rush in hopes of doing as much damage as you could before I could catch you.

To sit on the rocking ottoman, because today you thought it would be funny to rock as hard as your little body could, which caused you to flip off backwards and smack your head on the floor.  I told you no, I told you get down, but you thought it was fun and I got to be the one to comfort you while you screamed and whined for 10 minutes.  You are fine, the carpet softened the blow, but please stay away from the ottoman.

As of this moment, you are laying in the floor, opening up a book and letting it shut on your head.  Why? I really don't know because every time it hits your head you start crying.  But if I take the book away, OMG melt down city.

Can you please explain to me what is going on with you?  It's not even noon yet and you are on a some wild child path of distruction, this isn't fun for Mama...or anyone for that matter.  Every time I turn away from you, you are doing something you are not supposed to.  I can barely keep you out of things, and clean up the mess you just made before you are at it again.  Your little ass is going to be grounded before you are even potty trained if you don't KNOCK THIS SHIT OFF.

Love,
Mama

2 comments:

Draft Queen said...

Good heavens what a morning!

Dear Jocelyn,

Give your mama a break for 30 minutes!

Love,
Crazy Woman in Mom's Computer.

♥Moi♥ said...

Dear Jocely,

At least Momma didn't step in a diaper full of poop that you decided to take off today.

I may have to join your Momma at Lunatic Cafe & have a nice, strong coffee.

The other crazy woman.