Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Yeah that helped me feel better

I want to say FUCK YOU OCD before I go on.  Even that isn't strong enough or powerful enough for the hate that I have for this shit.

I used some nasal spray for my clogged nose.  Within seconds my nose began burning like it was on fire, so I checked the side effects and sure enough that was one, but while looking at it I happened to graze across the part that says if ingested call Poison Control immediately.  A few minutes later all of a sudden I feel my sinus' drain like Niagara, yeah nasty I know, and I tasted the nasal spray.  It was so strong I almost gagged and it made my nose burn. 

As if I had just swallowed everything I had squirted inside my nose.

Total freak out.

I began pacing and feeling extra dizzy and jittery which I know is my OCD.  So I waited a few minute hoping it would go away.  As I know you swallow some of the stuff anyway, its impossible not to.  Still feeling weird, which again I know is my OCD on top of me being sick, I text Bo.  When he didn't respond right away I called Poison Control.  I FREAKING CALLED POISON CONTROL, OMG!  The lady asked me if I was dizzy or sleepy and yes to both but I said no, since I had this before I'd taken the spray.  She said that since it had been 10-20 minutes since I'd taken the stuff and I was feeling ok, then all was good.  That I hadn't ingested enough to cause problems, since I did 2 sprays instead of 3 which is the max for each nostril.

In the middle of the call Bo texts me back that I'm fine, that it gets in your blood stream anyway and he's had that happen and he's still alive and kicking.

Too late babe already called them.

I told him what she said and he was like see, told ya.  That warning is for those who are stupid or small children who drink the whole thing.   Then he says 'You know I'm not shitting you', every time I started to go all OCD stupid.  Even though she said I was fine and he said I was fine, my anxiety is still around because I feel like crap.

I'm sleepy because I barely slept last night.  My meds make me dizzy, and so does the cold.  I'm jittery because my anxiety is going nutso.  But that is not what my head is saying, its that I ingested it and now I'm having a deadly reaction.

It has now been 2 hours since I took the spray.  I'm still feeling bad, and even more tired than earlier, my hands are shaking and I feel all wobbly.  I know where the symptoms are coming from, I know that the OCD is making them worse.  But it doesn't help since I still feel sick....even though I am sick anyway.

Seriously if I could sue I would.  If I could send hate mail oh I'd do that too.  This is ridiculous!  I know what it is, I have the facts yet every time I go wow I really don't feel good, my brain goes yeah its cause you swallowed poison and it's going to kick your ass. 

I have so got to get some therapy soon, this isn't getting any easier and it seems to be happening more often.


Draft Queen said...

Honestly? I love my shrink. Without her I'd be a wreck.

(hugs) anxiety sucks

McKenzie said...

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time! =[ Hope you get to feeling better soon.

Jodene said...

I know I always say it, but the fact that you can see it and acknowledge it is freaking amazing my friend!