Not for lack of trying

On Friday, I spent ALL day writing. 

I'd love to say how I made headway on a story and how impressed/proud/excited I was at my work.

But that would be a lie.

You see, I tried, I really tried to pick up on the story I'd decided to tackle and keep it going but I just couldn't.  I think I know why, I think in my head it's just a snipit and nothing more and I can't build a story on it.  It may be a cool idea, but for now it's not ready yet.  So I gave it a folder and a name, and started something new. 

In fact I started on every idea I have waiting in folders.  On one story I got three paragraphs before my mind went dumb.  The others I could come up with zilch.

Talk about frustrating.

But then I started something entirely new, got about 3 pages in when another wall hit.  By this time I was pissed, royally pissed, so I sat it aside and started something new.

I did this three times.  THREE FREAKING TIMES.  And guess what?  I'd get so far and then there was that wall again.  Two of these stories would have been a good short story had I had any clue to what I was wanting it to be about.  No joke, I got a name and a split second of a situation, and that was all of it.  Nothing else and no matter how hard I tried that's all I'd get.

I finally gave up and began thinking about what I could do.  And so I chose a new direction, one that I know by heart. 

I smacked myself on my forehead for being such a goof for not thinking of this sooner.  There's a story that's been passed down in my family, of where we come from and there are so many holes and empty air leaving my imagination to run free.  HOT DAMN! 

Except that turned out to be a BAD idea.  At least for now.  Why?  Because I'm slightly OCD about genealogy and had to step away from it because I was getting nowhere and spending way too much time on it.  I logged onto ancestry and went searching for my family tree that I worked YEARS on, only to not find it anywhere.  I haven't paid for my account in a couple years, but I've always been able to access my files.  Except now, suddenly it's all gone.  And I'm the moron that had 90% of my info on the website.

SHIT SHIT SHIT.

I emailed customer service, and am still waiting on a reply. 

But I digress, because I needed dates and I wasn't 100% what dates were whose, I did a quick very simple search.  Because nowadays, you can't see squat without paying on their site, which I find stupid.  All I can see are a few dates and names, that's it and for someone like me that is beyond frustrating.  It's down right maddening.  But it was enough to get my palms itching and my heart racing to jump back into genealogy.

I got less than a page in folks, before I got so caught up in genealogy that I 1)forgot about the story entirely for about an hour and 2) realized that if I did this story I have TONS of homework to make it historically accurate.  Which is perfectly fine with me, woohoo give me research any day, but this is going to be a very long, very detailed, and tiring project for me.  I'm excited about it, but right now I don't have that kind of time.

This morning I woke, and decided to try again.  Although this is extremely frustrating and annoying, this is a good thing.  I have ideas, they may not be good ideas or even full ideas, but they are still there.  I'm so excited to do something, to finish something my poor ittle brain is going overtime to make it happen. 

For now, since it seems slightly hard to do anything else, I'll be working on the series plus something else.  At least I know what I need to do on the series even if I don't plan on publishing it first.