It's the sickness that did it

Since I'm still sick, in fact if I get up and do too much the horrendous pressure returns and I'm couch bound for the rest of the day, I've spent many hours reading and writing this past week.

And by horrendous I mean PAIN, horrible tight feeling in my forehead, any facial expression brings tears to my eyes, sinus pressure pain. Not to mention being so dizzy and light headed.

Back to the writing, it's not much and it's nothing that really continues the story.

Nope, I've thought of and then asked myself some questions.  Since I behaved and answered them nicely, and actually gotten a better idea of what I was doing wrong and should do instead, I sat down and did some more digging into some of the finer details of the story I'm trying to create.

I've decided, and you can totally say I TOLD YOU SO as many times as you'd like on this one (and you guys know who you are ;) ), that I really really do need more of a grasp on my characters and should probably make a bio or background or something to help me know them more.

Are you guys done dancing and saying HELLLLOOOO yet??

I realized this when I found myself once again thinking the reaction or solution to a situation wouldn't work because that's not what I'd do, it's not who I am, or it's not how I'd react.  I'm basically drawing a person, coloring in a few things and then filling the rest in with me...that doesn't work.  That doesn't create anything, so there is no character.  It's just me in a costume.  No wonder I keep coming to a spot and then stopping because I cannot see myself there, I cannot see myself in a different life and I can't come up with things to happen to get to the end.

Since I've never done this, I'm scratching my head on how to go about figuring out who this character really is and how to get into her mindset.  I can write a bio, I've practically done it already but it hasn't gotten me a sense of her yet.  So something is missing and I have to find out what it is.  It's obvious this story, and any other I try, will go nowhere unless I figure out how to make these characters real to me....and stop making me the character.