Yesterday was terrible, pure 100% terrible. And I had braced myself for feeling just as shitty if not worse today. But so far, so good.
I still have the pressure and the drainage which turns into uncontrollable coughing, but I can breathe. It's such a beautiful thing, aint it?
Now if only Jocelyn was feeling better and/or blow her nose so she's not covered in dried snot. I don't know fashion but me thinks, that is a huge no no.
Somehow I felt like writing yesterday, so I did. Except what came out wasn't where I left off. It was during the part that I skipped forward in my story. I didn't fight it, I just let it go and wrote, and with it realized something.
I'd taken my character from sever depression to instant healing in one page without any explanation. Ooops.
Then, when I went back over what I'd done, everything was so...well soooo positive and upbeat and easy. Nothing is easy, I know better than that. But that's what positive thinking will do to you. Turn your story into a perfect fairytale, where NOTHING goes wrong and everything that you wished happened, happens. Ick, who wants to read that?
I hate that I keep changing directions, it bugs the living shit out of me. I hate that I keep messing up and keep going back and fixing it and that leads to a huge fix, not a small one. It really irritates me. But I do know, I'm learning this way. I also know that my lack of confidence and obsessive indecision is having a HUGE part to play. If it weren't for that I don't think I'd be going back and forth so much. Or maybe that's wishful thinking.
Do professional authors have this problem? Do they get so far and hit a wall and go back to fix it...at the exact same spot with EVERY story? How the hell do they get past this part? Cause I'm still 0-100 at this point.