I don't know what I did, maybe it was the giving her medicine and making sure she didn't have a fever. Maybe it was sucking out the snot in her nose or cuddling with her because she didn't feel like doing anything else.
Or maybe, just maybe, my daughter is a bitch and is enjoying fucking with me.
I'd love to give you the details of all the things I've gotten her out of this morning, but to be honest there were so many things that I've lost track and it's all one big blur of 'NO JOCELYN!'.
But the part that's REALLY getting to me now is that it is 12:54 and since starting this blog at 12:50 I've put her back to bed twice.
TWO FUCKING TIMES.
Roughly every three minutes, and this is not an exaggeration I've got my timer next to me as proof, she's out of her bed and playing at her door. Why is she not in the living room or roaming around the house you may be wondering? Cause we have a kiddy gate in her doorway so she can't. Otherwise she'd be eating toothpaste or ripping their books to pieces or coloring on every surface she can. All the while I think she's sleeping because she's a quiet 3 foot ninja. It's our new tactic, that's been going on for a week now. And today it seems she's revolting.
Her nap started at 11:30...and she's up again, hang on...ok I'm back where was I???
Oh yeah, my daughter hates me.
I've had a chance to eat lunch and that's it. Because everytime I start to do something I hear her talking and have to stop. So I gave up and now I'm...fuck me sideways hang on AGAIN. Ugh, so now I'm perched on the edge of the couch or waiting in the hallway for her door to open.
Which it does.
Over and over again.
I'd like to have a conversation with Super Nanny right now. She says to walk the child back to bed without saying anything. An hour and a half of this and you know what? She thinks this is a game. She's all 'Hi Mama I woke up' every time I go get her as if it's the first time. She says 'Night night Mama' when I walk out of the room all happy and giggly.
I'm not seeing an improvement Miss Expert. I'm seeing a little girl with the giggles at giving me shit.
If she falls asleep at this point I'm beyond screwed. I have to go get her in an hour so we can go get Bailey from school. Which means, that on top of not feeling so great yet, I will have a sick and EXTREMELY cranky two year old who is on a mission to kill me.