Shopping at any store is always a bit um nerve wracking and annoying and can sometimes be down right frustrating when people are rude assholes. But my favorite is when you walk across little gems that just make you giggle or snort in my case today, it makes the whole teeth pulling nightmare so much easier.
First spotted was a teenage boy in the weirdest outfit I have ever seen. Ok so maybe not, but this is high on my WTF ARE YOU THINKING YOUR FRICKIN MORON list. I was walking down an isle when I see Wrangler jeans (Bo says he also had boots on). Hello cowboy, Mama likes cowboys. We will ignore that he does not have the right kind of ass to pull of these jeans. You have to have a small butt or no butt, and this kid had a butt so it was like mashed and stretched out like some football shaped pancake. No I did not laugh at that, not everyone has a Wrangler butt. I did however laugh and almost swallowed my tongue when I looked up to see his hair. Now I do not know the kid Justin Beiber or Boober as I liked to call him, I've seen him in photos and watched his whiney butt in an interview I could only hear 3 seconds of before I shut him the frick up. But that hair that weird long brushed forward to hide a non existent bald spot hair cut, eeek that image is forever burned in my head. This kid was trying to be a cowboy and SO not pulling it off and then he was wearing that fugtastic hair do!?! Does he not know what a cowboy is? Does he not realize that there is specific fashion criteria to be a cowboy and anything outside of that is considered redonkulous? I'm guessing not because any cowboy I know would have smacked him and forward combed hair of his until he got things straight. I am fairly certain I will have nightmares of this sight for days.
Second, and my favorite of all time was the cashier. I did not get his name and I could kick myself because he is so going to be the only one I want at check out ever again. Anyway I'm loading my stuff on the conveyor belt thingy when I hear him singing something. I heard it twice and I was like nooo he can't be singing that, seriously it can't be true. But then I get over closer to him and I hear him sing it again...and I couldn't resist but lean over and say softly "Are you singing 'Show Them To Me'?". His face got bright red and it looked as if I just caught him checking out porn, he was that embarrassed. He admitted that he had been but didn't realize he was singing it loud enough I could hear him and apologized profusely. I reassured him that I am a Rodney Carrington fan and I am not offended or bothered whatsoever. Bo returned with Jocelyn (she had free cookie gunk on her fingers that he had to wash off) and I told him the story grinning like the Mad Hatter. He of course started laughing and for the rest of shopping process we all talked about our love for that funny man. As we left the store, we both agreed that we don't want any one else's line ever again. Anyone who sings or quotes Rodney Carrington is our friend.
NSFW sorry mwuahahaha