Starting on a good note

I feel pretty damn good today, and considering how shitty I felt last week that's amazeballs.  It's even rainy and icky outside, and I may be kinda sleepy, but I'm still getting things done...well the mental work anyway hey shut up at least it's something.

I haven't been writing per say for a while now.  I mean I have been, it's just, well it's not the actual story, just side notes and interview stuff and behind the scenes stuff; things that get me a clearer picture of the world I'm creating.  And one of those I wrote this morning and it made me cry, literally.  When I realized I was I laughed, because here I am sitting at my dining room table writing up a scene that I know won't be used, it's all make believe and I'm crying.  Either I'm just that emotional or I'm on to something.

This behind the curtain writing has been fun and I'm getting a better picture in my head and a better 'voice' for my main character each day.  It's strange really, because I could go on writing just this stuff forever and be satisfied, but it doesn't make a book.  What I'm doing is like a timeline or an outline per say, most of it isn't going to be used though, it's just to get my stops marked down with little tidbits on each one.  So that when I do get started on writing it again, I know where I'm headed with each chapter and I have a gist of what should happen so I don't get stuck.  This has been my problem from the get go, I only know a few stops and scenes when I first start writing and the rest is just a blur and I don't know how to connect everything.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed I'm FINALLY on the right track and this will get me finished and possibly published.