Tuesday, November 14, 2006


I was on a great roll, the house was cleaner, I was happier, I was writing. Then just like that, a switch was thrown and I lost it. Whatever it was, it just flew out the window with my mind. I am so pissed right now. Normally I’m revived after a weekend, and get the new week off with a bang. But yesterday I did nothing but sit on my ass. I can say I did play with my son. That in itself is an improvement, even if nothing was done around the house. But where did all that energy and confidence go? It was literally an over night disappearance.

Wherever it went, I hope its happy and having fun. Because I’m not. I’ve had a memory problem for a long time and here over the past few days it’s becoming ridiculous. I can’t remember what was said 5 minutes ago, or where I put my car keys only to find them in my pocket. Whatever bit me took what little concentration I had with it. I want it back damnit. I was doing so well. These negative thoughts weren’t screaming at me every second of the day, I was able to complete my daily task list, I was happy! Why did you leave me? What did I do to make you run? What can I do to make you come back? Because I miss you. I need you.

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