Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Happy pills are here again!!!!

Happy pills, check. Breastfeeding, triple check. Hot damn. I almost jumped out of my chair yesterday when I asked if I can take Paxil while breastfeeding and he said yes. I still don’t quite understand why I get so emotional over the idea of having to stop. But now that I don’t have to stop I can stop worrying about it. I barely had to explain about the OCD and it bringing me down and he was like I’ll give you a year supply. EEEE!!! Its much easier talking about the issues when they already know you’re a crazy, you don’t have to go into too much detail.

I mentioned the whole loopy thing, had to tell the nurse like 5 times that I was getting dizzy and light headed etc. and then she asked me if I had these symptoms…. Honey you weren’t listening very well. She asked me my symptoms, then asked me to give her an example of how bad it was and how its affecting my day, then went through asking me which symptoms I have. Hmm. She was typing away on her laptop the whole time, it appeared she was listening and taking down my symptoms. Oh well she finally got the stuff straight. My doctor ordered blood work done to see if I’m anemic. He thinks more than likely the loopy feeling is caused by me being stressed about Jocelyn and my crazy sleep schedule. It was a relief that he didn’t list anything else that could be the culprit; I know he can’t really say because it would freak the patient out, but still. He offered to give me sleep meds, and the ones he was going to give me worked wonders when I took them a few years ago, but I told him no. He prescribed them when I first got my happy pills, because I wasn’t sleeping. Boy did I sleep thanks to those puppies. I didn’t wake up for anything and that’s kind of scary with a baby. He encouraged me to get Jocelyn to sleep through the night and either moving her out of our room or putting something up in between our bed and hers so she can’t see us. I’m not sure this little girl is going to enjoy being made to sleep all night, LOL. She’ll go three or four days of 7 straight hours of sleep, then she’ll have a week of every 2 hours she’s up. I know she can sleep through the night, she just doesn’t want to for very long. This is going to be fun…..

Even though I still feel icky, and it’s even stronger now that the pills are kicking in, I am relieved. I walked out of the doctor’s office happy, and when I got to my car I was a bit shocked at the difference. I went in there scared and edgy, came out happy and not the slightest bit worried. My mind is a wonderful little thing aint it? I know that I can get a call saying come in to discuss the blood test results, but I’m not worrying about it and waiting for the phone to ring. I know it’s not the pills working this fast, its just me letting him take over to figure out what is wrong with me. It’s literally night and day on how my thoughts have changed.

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