Monday, March 15, 2010

Breaking heart

 Tomorrow Miss goes home. I know she has to, I know she can’t stay, but it’s still painful just the same.

I’m me when she’s here. I’m that me that is and wants to have fun, whose funny, who loves to laugh. Not the me that wants to burry myself in books, stories, movies, games anything and everything just to get through my day, until Bo gets home because I feel so alone all day. I have two beautiful children, who are amazing little beings, and I still feel alone when I’m here with them. I feel like a bad mother for that. But she shows me that I can still be me, even if it’s only when I have her and Bo with me, I’m still in there. I’m not lost, I’m not gone forever, I’m just buried in there somewhere. It’s my job to bring her up, without their help.

These two weeks have been amazing. We’ve laughed and we’ve cried. We’ve taken photos, we’ve come up with ideas for blogs/vlogs (which we talk about so much we have yet to do them, LOL). But most importantly, she’s gotten me off my ass! My house looks awesome, even if gets messy she somehow gets it clean in 5 minutes. It would take me hours to do what she does, and somehow as easy and simple it is, I still don’t get it.

I think the craziest thing we’ve done, was yesterday when we went to our elementary playground, and she talked me into going on a teeter-totter and slide. Now before I go farther, this is where Bo and I spent our childhood. There are things here that were old when we were 5! Crazy huh. Anywho, I got on the teeter-totter, she got me about 2 inches off the ground and I screamed bloody murder. For some reason, the girl that used to love this thing can't do it anymore. Then she and Bo talked me into going on a slide, the only new thing in the playground. Nikki forgot she's afraid of heights peeps. I got halfway up and couldn't go any farther. Bailey was going up it like it was nothing and I couldn’t do it. I was very upset, then Miss goes on the slide. Keep in mind this slide is a narrow and twisting slide. She put Bailey on her lap and takes off….only to get stuck. I was laughing so hard I tears. Bailey was laughing as he climbed off her lap and slid down without her. She managed to make it down, bending herself around the tight spirals, laughing the whole time. Then Bo gets the bright idea to do it to. Now Bo is a broad, stocky man. If Miss got stuck…well you know what happened. He gets stuck almost immediately. I don’t know how we didn’t pee our pants. He finally managed to un-wedge himself, and thankfully neither tried it again.

She brings so much fun and laughter to this house; we are all going to miss her like crazy. We forgot how much fun we can have, and she’s reminded us. She talks about how she feels like home here; how that is something she hasn’t had in a long time. I’m thrilled we can do this for her and she thanks us by bring out the child in us. It’s a win-win situation with her here, haha.

Honey Cheeks, I’m going to miss you so so much. Bailey and Jocelyn have fallen in love with you and I know they will miss you like crazy too. Bo will miss you too, you’ve gotten his wife off her butt, dressed and looking pretty, something that the medications couldn’t do. Plus the house is clean, he’s going to miss that more than anything I’m sure, LOL. I haven’t been this happy in so long I truly cannot remember when it was. I have that desire again to do things and be a part of this world, not hide from it. It’s funny, because I thought I had that before, and I did, but it was like this small itch compared to this energetic gotta jump gotta move gotta DO something, that you have given me. Thank you, thank you thank you a million times over. I hope this trip was as great for you as it was for us. I’m going to miss you, I love you, and I CANNOT wait until you come back.


No comments: