Monday, March 29, 2010

Day three

On the million dollar meds for three days now and I feel fabulous.  I admit I was hoping I would feel like poo hit by a semi because that’s what I’m used to feeling and I could say “Nope not working either” and could happily switch pills…to something cheaper.

But alas, day three and I feel awesome!  No headaches.  No extreme dizziness that requires me to stay absolutely still all day.  No sick feeling, like my stomach is always seconds away from tossing my cookies.  Why do you have to be $226 a month??  So not fair.

Bo is seeing a huge difference, so its not just me.  I asked him if I do this in the beginning of taking any pill and he says not to this extreme.  Yay again for it not just being me.  I would hate to be optimistic about this when the others did the same thing before they began to suck.  I don’t feel drugged, and on all the others I always did.  I feel slightly detached, but not so drastically that nothing seems real or worth paying attention to.  I have lots and lots of energy and can focus on what needs to be done because THERE IS NOTHING IN MY HEAD.  No thoughts going over and over, NOTHING.  I can't begin to describe how amazing that part is.  If I want to think of something I can, and its easy to concentrate.  I don’t have to filter through crap to get to what I want to think of. And reading is so much easier now!

All the pills I’ve taken, has had their moments of wow I can do this easier because of the pill, so they did work to an extent.  But again, Welbutrin seems to be the best for me.  I hope this lasts on one hand, because I don’t feel so crazy right now, I don’t feel like the oddball with the sign CRAZY above my head and that is a beautiful thing.  On the other hand, these things are so expensive its insane.  Yes technically we could afford this things, HOWEVER that would mean not paying off our debt, not putting back any money for savings, and cutting out something to make up for the amount.  It wouldn’t hurt us drastically right now, but it would mean no money for emergencies, holidays, or our anniversary trip.  It would mean our debt would not get paid off by the deadline we made, which means finding a house that better suits our family or even building will get put off ANOTHER YEAR.  I personally, don’t think these puppies are worth that.  But they work, on day three I feel awesome and have gotten soo much done its insane.  Ugh damn you happy pills.

1 comment:

Jodene said...

Yay for the happy pills my friend. I'm so excited for you, but can also feel the frustration of the cost of them. I'm betting that the Universe will make sure you always have enough ...

One step at a time ... I know you can, I know u can ... ;-)