Tuesday, June 29, 2010

I hate when it bites you on the butt

Growing up, cleaning was a punishment for me.  And if it wasn't done the way my mom wanted, extra punishments were handed out.  It made me to where I feel like I'm in trouble any time I clean, its a horrible feeling and it means I have a hard time doing it.  I'm not lazy, I'm just trying to avoid that feeling.  I swore I wouldn't do that to my kids, that I'd punish them in other ways.

You know where this is going don't ya?

The living room resembles a disaster area, to go anywhere you have to climb over toys.  I'm not joking.  I asked Bailey if he'd help me out by picking up the legos. And I get:

Mama I don't like to clean, I want things messy.

I'm done, I'm too tired to clean any more.

You clean it up I'm not going to.

I'm not cleaning anymore!

After each statement I gave him a warning that I'd add something else for him to clean.  It was all I could do with my hands covered in dirty dishes.  I wanted to kick myself just for saying it but its all I had.  He began screaming at me that he wasn't doing it, and eventually the boy was responsible for cleaning the entire living room.

I decided to stop there, and give him timeout the next time he popped off.  Except it wasn't just once, it was over and over as fast as he could what he wasn't going to do and what I was going to do. 

Bailey boy, do not piss off your Mama.

So now, he's in charge of cleaning the living room and his room all by himself.  I will tell him what to do and where to put things, instead of letting him do it himself.  Thats one thing I can do differently, and actually teach him how to clean.  That may sound silly to some, but its overwhelming to be thrown into a messy room and get told clean it when you have no clue where to start.

And he just came out of time out, why? Because he was walking around the living room with two legos in his hand and watching TV everytime it came into view.  I was trying to feed Jocelyn so I wasn't paying that close of attention.  I noticed when he was sitting in the floor watching the TV.  I gave him 2 minutes and he didn't move.  So guess where his little butt was sent? 

I had no plans of making him do it in a specific amount of time, I think having to clean is hard enough. Except he's going one lego or one car at a time and screaming the whole way.  UGH!!! At this rate he's not going to finish the living room until after Bo gets home. 

I hate this!  I do not want to punish him by making him clean, but he did this with his mouth.  I have to remember that.  I warned him, I gave him TOO many warnings actually and he continued to tell me what he wasn't going to do.  Now its his fault if he can't play or watch his shows, and not mine.

I feel horrible for making him clean by himself, but if I go back now he won't respect me.  Not like he does now anyway, he thinks of himself as an adult.  We encourage him to have an opinion, but he takes that seriously and has issues with doing what he's told.  So much for trying to make him independent.

On a positive side, my living room will get relatively clean and so will his room and I won't be doing it!!


Jodene said...

Good on you! I can imagine how frightening it is to want to instill discipline but not repeat the pattern and you are getting it perfectly right. You're not instilling fear hun ... you're being the good mama!! Yay you!

Nikki said...

Thank you Jo! MWUAH