Monday, August 09, 2010

Excuse me, I'm sleeping.

I'm not sure what has come over my husband, but this year it seems he's turned into a sleep fondeler.

Some nights are better than others, as in I get some sleep and don't even register that he's got his hand in my pants.  While other night's I'm fighting him off of me.  I personally love that he wants me, it's a great feeling, but DUDE LET ME SLEEP.

He thinks its funny especially nights where he somehow loses his underwear.  I admit, thats some talent, taking your own undies off while asleep and then you can't find them the next morning.  I find it funny that we sleep through it most of the time, or atleast he does anyway.  But it's starting to affect my already crappy sleep...although maybe that is why I'm not sleeping and I just don't realize it....hmmm.

How sad is that? I get fondeled, his fingers have even found their way to the honey pot a few times. He will take his undies off and proceed to do an anatomy lesson on me.  Yet we sleep through it the majority of the time.  There's no telling if we've actually have had sex and totally slept through it.

We have yet to see a pattern, as he does this on a nightly basis, some nights its more amorous than others but it's still every single night.  We do have an at the moment solution, I roll over and if he's awake, he has some "me" time.  I get some sleep and he gets his jollies off.

Too early in the morning for that?  MWUAHAHA ask me if I care?

He's only tried this a few times, but it seems to work.  If he wakes me up, I'm going to start smacking him until he wakes up so he can go take care of it.  He says I should just jump on the opportunity, I say I'm half asleep and considering I'm not Ms. Susie Sunshine until hours after I wake up, I'd be afraid of damage to the family jewels if he suggests this in the middle of the night.


Free2bMommy said...

Never too early! hahaha!! Too bad im such a bitch in the morning...Im like "get the f_ck away!" which for some reason seems to only make matters worse!!! hahahaha!!!


Nikki said...

LOL glad I could give you a giggle. The boys at work love his tales and ask "Hey what did you do to Nikki last night" pretty much every morning.

Draft Queen said...

Seriously, I can't wait for N to come home so I can get some before going to sleep and when we get up in the morning.

However, I might be rather pissed if EVERY night in the middle of my sleep he woke me with sleep fondling.

I did laugh at your expense, though.


Nikki said...

LOL don't worry I laugh about it too.

I personally am quite fond of sex ;), but when you have to fight someone off of you almost nightly it gets annoying real fast. I've had to push him off me, wiggle away from him, extract his hands from my netherregions and the northern magical mounds, pull my undies up or my shirt down...etc. LOL I used to love being woken up in the middle of the night for sex. But that was back when he was awake and wasn't like a damn leach...haha.