Monday, August 16, 2010

Not a good week for me...

Bailey starts school on Thursday. 

He is beside himself with excitement, and has to check the calendar every day to see how many days are left.  He's known how to use a calendar now for a year or more, he knows the days of the week and his months and the little booger can even remember which months that has 30 or 31 days most of the time...I'm 28 folks and my son has to tell me the exact days sometimes because I can't remember.  Last week he got a letter from his teacher, that he wanted hung on the fridge, and every time he walks by it he HAS to read it.  Every time.  I watch him do it and can't help but grin as he takes his little finger and underlines each row as he reads it. When the topic of school comes up he tells us how excited he is and how he can't wait to go, how it's taking FOREVER to get here.  We woohoo and giggle right along with him whenever it hits him out of the blue that its coming in just a few days.

But inside I'm hurting.  I'm terrified.  And not surprisingly I'm nauseous and anxious.  It is extremely hard not letting it show when it's all I can think about.

I've been his teacher for 5 years and now I'm handing him over to some strange woman who is taking over and will get to see my beautiful little boy more than  I will.  She'll be the one getting credit for teaching him things now, not me.  It's a silly thing, but I can't stand it, I hate it and I don't like her because of it.

No wonder I'm on medication....

As the day gets nearer the worse I feel as that damn dragon on my shoulder gets meaner and meaner.  Come Saturday I'm sure I'll be as jumpy as a crack whore.

2 comments:

Christy said...

I felt the same way. I was so afraid something would happen to my daughter the first time she went to school. Then my twin boys went to a preschool at the tender age of 3. I was beside myself. It does get better, but you will always have that same worry at least to a degree. Hang in there. It gets better eventually.

Nikki said...

Thanks Christy! It's really hard to be this sad and antsy about him going to school when he's so excited to go. Maybe it will rub off on me eventually, ;).