Way back in March, I made Miss a promise that I would get up every day, get dressed in something cute/sassy, fix my hair and put on my makeup. That I would NOT under any circumstances leave the house without makeup.
Somewhere I stopped doing these things.
Yeah Miss, smack me a few times I need it!!
One huge reason is my hair is still crap. I don't know what happened, it no longer does its curly thing. I get it to, then about 20 minutes later it falls and looks as if I haven't combed my hair in weeks. Ick. It makes putting makeup on and getting dressed redundant. I don't match. Straightening it is out of the question, I can't get the layers to blend and my cowlick in the back refuses to lay down. So I skip it, pull my hair back into a teeny tiny pony tail, and wear the first thing I can find.
I look hideous, I know I do. But I've stopped caring again. I know that has a huge part in why I'm struggling to lose weight, struggling to get things done, and feeling like a big fat slob.
Anyway I got up this morning, and wanted to put something cute on. I did. But when I looked in the mirror at my horrible hair and my naked face, I felt like shit...I still do. It hit me that I've broken my promise, that I've gone right back to where I was before your visit.
It completely pissed me off and I walked away from the mirror and have no desire to look again. I don't understand why I do this to myself. I don't understand why I can't keep on track with anything I do. I hate whining about it, I hate talking about it, but it's the truth and I don't lie. I feel pathetic. I feel useless. I feel worthless.
What's wrong with me? What am I missing? Because everyone else seems to be able handle the simplest things when I can't.