Thursday, January 20, 2011

Happy Birthday

Dear Grandma,

Today marks the 98th anniversary of the day you were born.  It's one of my favorite days, although it's also one of the saddest.

It's now been eleven years since you passed; a lifetime without you it seems.  And still my eyes tear up at the thought that I can't pick up the phone to hear your voice or hug you or see that beautiful smile of yours. 

After all this time, it's still so hard to think of you without tears or pain.  That's how much you mean to me, to all of us.  I believe that we keep you alive by thinking of you.  So many things remind me of you, and I'd like to think you know this.  That each time I think of you, you 'wake up' and hear me and what I'm saying.  Otherwise all those conversations with you in my head are for nothing and I really need stronger meds, haha. 

There isn't much I can say that you don't already know, as I know you watch over us.  Dena and I have too many similar dreams, only days apart about you to be otherwise.  Plus I can feel you when I cook, did you know that?  I may hate to cook at times, but I love the way it makes me feel like you're standing there beside me helping.  And tell Grandpa I love it when he visits.   I love the smell of his pipe and it never fails to make me laugh a little at how sudden and how strong it is.   Also, tell him to do it when Bo is around next time; he's only smelled the pipe once.

I'm sure you're excited that you're going to be a great great grandma for the third time.  The circumstances may not be the best for K, but it's still a blessing and another person will be on the planet that has a part of you inside them.  K's baby is going to be another in a long line of incredible people, and it's all because of you.

Thank you Grandma.  Thank you for everything you did for me while you were here with me.  Thank you for a million little things that still make me smile.  Thank you for being the incredible woman you were.  My only complaint, is I didn't get to have you in my life long enough. 

Hugs and kisses...

Love you like the moon loves the stars...

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