What a night

It's 2:30am, I've been up since midnight after going to bed at 11:30.

My baby is at the ER because she's having breathing issues. 

Yesterday she woke up crying and had a barking cough.  I instantly thought croup, ok I can deal with croup.  Except she only coughed when she was crying or laughed really hard, which was maybe three times yesterday.  With croup you cough alot, or so I remember.  She also didn't have a fever and seemed to feel perfectly fine, albeit a little less energetic.

I gave her cough meds and by yesterday evening she sounded much better, just a scratchy voice.  We put a humidifier in her room just in case.  It seems to not have worked because at midnight she woke up crying.

When I went to get her, she was breathing funny.  Hard, deep raspy breaths that rattled in her chest.  We were both instantly worried.  But with some more research, found nothing that her symptoms matched.  And while I was looking on the net, she was running around the living room playing as if it was in the middle of the day.  Making us feel like morons for worrying, cause she seemed perfectly fine, if a bit noisy.

We tried the humid bathroom, the cold night air, vicks and more cough meds, and all it did was lower the sound of her breathing.  You could still hear it rattling as if she needed to clear her throat, except it wasn't in her throat, it's in her chest.  We thought we'd try to lay her down with us and just sleep that way.  But I couldn't, there's no way I could sleep with her wheezing and rasping next to me, not to mention the fact that she didn't pause between breaths it was almost a constant deep breathing.

If you didn't know, hospitals are a HUGE phobia of mine.  Especially this one in town, and since my baby is in there I won't go into details on why because it will only make me feel worse.  As it is I feel sick, as if I've eaten something that did not agree with me.  I'm anxious.  I'm wired.  My stomach is all twisted and knotted in horrible pain.  There is no way in hell I can sleep right now, even though Bailey goes to school in less than 5 hours and if I don't sleep now, it's going to be a very difficult morning.

I don't have a clue what I'm going to do until I know she's ok and back home in my arms.  I just know that right now, my OCD is at the highest I've felt in a very long time.

3:00am - Just got a text from Bo, she has bronchitis, they gave her a breathing treatment and she's able to breath much better now. Once they have the meds they'll be coming home.  Hopefully my head gets this and my stomach will stop hurting.