Family warning: Do not continue, the word penis is mentioned many times below...among other sexual and dirty things.
My husband swears he doesn't have an imagination. But the IM log I'm going to share with you clearly shows he's full of crap....
Nikki: ok well then f them, i was trying to be helpful
at least you think about Fing sombody :p
Nikki: shut up
Nikki: my ass is way too raw thanks to you for me to even think of fucking
Bo: next time i'll use lube i guess
Nikki: do you even know what you did? or it may be because you won't stop it, doing it every night, and it's now raw as if i've humped sandpaper
Bo: I know that I rubbed it... alot
Nikki: feels like it
Bo: ... with my teeth
and used my razor toe nails as well
Nikki: u did not lol
haha now that i believe
Bo: then after that I tied 40 grit sandpaper around my penis and rammed it inside dry
Nikki: ow yeah thats just ugh
Bo: then I grabbed the green monster... put super glue on it and rammed that inside... left it in for 1 full second then pulled it out as fast as possible...
Bo: then to clean up the super glue I got a full bottle of hand sanitizer... and used my penis to apply it.... was a very cold yet burning sensation but it got the job done and made cleanup a snap
Nikki: omg...i'm putting this in a blog
for the record.... the act of putting super glue on a dildo and shoving it in one's ass is called "Iron Man" because it makes them walk like a robot... no joke
Nikki: wtf... tell me you didn't just google that...tell me todd gave you the inspiration
Bo: i did it all by myself
Nikki: wow...lol u are so strange somtimes
Bo: the only inspiration was my imagination and all the crap I made up above
Nikki: see u can make things up
Bo: sometimes... and only dirty things
FWIW the green monster mentioned is a dildo, a ginormous one that's only used in jokes...and when I'm drunk.