Saturday, February 05, 2011

Valetine's Day card reads: Kiss my ass you tard

We have this dog/polar bear in our backyard, along with a small black wuss who sounds much bigger than he is.  They aren't new dogs,  Riddick (the small black wuss) we've had for over 7 years, Frost we've had for over a year now. 

Now imagine our surprise, and humor, at getting a knock on our door from animal control this morning about our barking dogs.

Um what?  Our dogs bark?  No freaking way.  Our dogs and our neighbors dogs party at night, or did they forget to mention that?

I find it funny that now all of a sudden someone wants to complain.  It must be all this snow and they're bored.  Because they somehow forget that two of our neighbors likes to party until 5 am, in their front yard with their guests, their music up loud and hollering and making so much racket no one can sleep.  Yet the cops never get called on them...hmmm.

Frost has a deep RRRROOOOOUUUUUFFFF, yes, but it's one of those barks thats easy to hear.  And that's not because he's my dog, I'd still find that bark beautiful.  Riddick on the other hand, has an annoying bark (he's part Cocker Spaniel part Beagle).  But it's no where near as annoying as the neighbors terriers or whatever they are, and their constant, high pitch, yap yap yapping all day.  No one says anything about them.

So excuse me, if I'm not all worried about offending my neighbors.  Because I however understand that a dog is a dog is a dog and it barks.  Have you ever said to a dog, don't bark and got it to be perfectly quiet?  Because I never have and I've been trying for 7 years to get Riddick to be quiet.  Not only that but I like knowing our dogs are watching out for us.  They bark for a reason.  Unlike other dogs on the block who bark constantly for no apparent reason

No this isn't because I'm a dog lover.  If a dog is really annoying I'd call too, but that would have to be ANNOYING, as in destroying things in my yard, never ever shutting up...etc.  However, it's not either of my dogs that's the annoying one on our block. 

And no, that's not because they are my dogs, I'm not so stupid/vain to think my dogs (or any possession or family member) are perfect and couldn't be the culprit.  Riddick could very well be the dog they were complaining about. 

It's because there are other dogs on this block that do it too.  As well as loud, annoying neighbors.  It's offending that we are the ones that the complaint is about, as if we are the only people on the block making noise.  We're the good neighbors, keeping to ourselves and bothering no one...and we get a complaint, it's rather humorous and offensive.

To the neighbor who complained: 

For one thing, you are a coward for going straight to authorities instead of walking to our door and asking us personally to try to get our dogs to be quieter.  I mean that would be the mature, polite thing to do after all.  You must be afraid of the creepy neighbors who rarely have people over, who don't get out much and who is always helpful to other neighbors.  OMG we're such horrible people no wonder you're a pussy and can't come talk to us. 

You also must be a little slow, telling a dog to be quiet is like asking a child to be still after giving them tons of sugar.  Some breeds are quieter than others, but, and here's something very important to remember, DOGS BARK, just like all the other dogs on the block.  They bark, it's what being a dog means. BARK BARK BARK.  How about you complain (if you aren't one of them already) of the neighbors who party all the time?  Or the neighbors kids who get your mail, rip some of it in half and throw it on the ground?  Or the same kids using your driveway as a skateboard ramp and dodge ball court WITH YOUR CARS PARKED IN THE DRIVEWAY WITHOUT ASKING YOUR PERMISSION FIRST?  Oh have they not done that to you?? Well they have us, so excuse me if I'm not worried about my dog barking when I'm not the worst neighbor on our block.

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