Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Fake cleaning...oook

I read magazines and online articles all the time.  One of the topics I search for is obviously right.  Even though I'm a huge fan of Flylady and mold my routines under her ideas, I'm still on the look out for other ideas.

I ran across an article the other day (which I should have saved but didn't :( ) that had some tips that were humorous and down right stupid.  I can't remember all of them, but I'll share with you what I can.

Use one side of your couch cushions for family and the other for company.  When company are coming over, simply flip the cushions over.  Tada clean and fresh couch.

UUUUUMMMMMM major problem on this one.  Why do company get the nice things but you, who live there, get the stained and used side?  Not fair if you ask me.  Plus I can't do that with my couch, there is only one side to my cushions. 

I like Flylady's concept of if it's good enough for company it's good enough for you.  Basically, you're the company and should treat your things and house that way.

Disguise stains with pillows and blankets.  Simply place chosen item over stained area and no one needs to know.

Really?  Well on one hand this is an interesting idea, however if that pillow or blanket gets moved you are soooo busted.  Why lie?  Why not just I don't know try to get the stain out????  And prevent more by NOT EATING IN THE LIVING ROOM.

Utilize the space under couches and chairs and 'store' things there when company is coming.

Nothing says hoarder like shoving what you can under a couch.  Now I'm all for using this as a storage spot for things like workout equipment or even using small bins to store toys or other small things in.  In fact right now, the few 'paintings' we have are under our couch because they are the safest place away from kids until we get them hung.  But come on, shoving what you can underneath to get it out of sight?  That's just lazy.  Not to mention, it shows, I don't care if you have flaps on the bottom or not, something is always peaking out and everyone is on to you.

Hide dirty windows by pulling the curtains closed.

'Welcome to my home  cave!  I'm not a fan of light, airy and welcoming rooms.  I prefer the dark, claustrophobic cave theme'.  I'd rather see dirty windows and nature than feel like I'm in a cell with no windows any day.  Unless you live in one of those cool cave houses or underground houses, or allergic to sunlight, closed curtains are illegal.

Hide dirty dishes in pots and in cabinets.  You can clean them later once company has left.

What about the smell?  Cause dirty dishes do smell.  What if you decide to make a snack for everyone and forget the dirty dishes...

If you're out of time, store your hair care and make up products in the tub and close the shower curtain.  And pray to all things holy no one peaks.

This is as stupid as hiding dirty dishes.  Really?  Come on people. 

For the kids room, hide clothes in the sheets and under the pillow.  Shove scattered toys in the closet, under the bed or in a play tent if you have one.

I don't know about you, but I've NEVER walked into a kids room that was clean.  But really, shoving clothes under the covers....someone was so drinking when they wrote this article.

I've never been known for a clean house...EVER even when we lived in a 500sqft apartment.  But I can honestly say I've never done any of the above.  I have stashed and dashed (shoved things in drawers and closets, but not dirty things) and practically killed myself to clean everything in 10 minutes cause someone was coming over...I've also pretended to not be at home so someone didn't see the mess.

So yeah, I'm not one to point and scold on cleaning obviously, but these tips are just wrong. 

What do you think?  Have you ever done this or any other fake cleaning tips?


Draft Queen said...

Hiding dirty dishes? I do that, IN THE DISHWASHER. And the day I teach my kid it's okay to stash stuff under his/her pillow and call it "clean"? Please. My kids' rooms are a mess. If someone happens by miraculously the one day a month their rooms are *actually* clean, then cool. Otherwise, they are kids and kids are notoriously messy.

Which? is why we have stains on things. Like the couch. Because even though I've said five hundred trillion times not to eat in the living room, someone sneaks something and inevitably spills it.

My theory is this: I have kids. This is not a museum. The house isn't disgustingly filthy, but it's lived in.

Nikki said...

Don't feel bad so do we, which is why one of the new rules for the new house is no food or drink in the living room. We've slipped up a time or two, but so far it's working...but they are little and haven't figured out sneaking and lying just yet;).

I like lived in, I am not aiming for hotel/art gallery clean.