Pins and needles

I really need a stiff drink, thought I'd get that out first.

Yesterday Bo and I talked all day about the FUCKING AWESOME HOUSE and how badly we want it but how scary the prospect of the whole thing is.

Like we'd have to rush as fast as possible to get this house ready to sell.  And if it didn't sell in time we'd lose our dream house and all that mad rush, anxiety and stress would be for nothing.

But the biggest thing that scares the crap out of us is that our house payment will double.  DOUBLE folks, and although we can afford it that hurts to think about.  We'd have no savings to fall back on in case of an emergency as that will go into the house budget too.  If anything happened to Bo's job, unless he can find a great job with the same pay, we'd lose EVERYTHING.

Is it really worth it?  We kept asking each other all day.

Once he got home we talked about the numbers and finally decided that we were just too anxious over the idea and we couldn't chance the possibility of losing it all.  Neither of us are really happy about it, but we do not want to lose what we have for this snap decision.  We just spent the last 3 years paying off our debt and sacrificing so much to do so, it would be a waste, you know.  Our plan is we'll spend the winter fixing the house at our pace, no rush, and hopefully come spring we'll be mostly finished and can try to sell then.  Lot less stressful that way.  One way or another next year we're moving...as long as we can sell this house anyway.

But about 15 minutes ago I get a call from the realtor that got my anxiety up and running again.  The couple that is selling FUCKING AWESOME HOUSE is an older couple and they are wanting to downsize.  The realtor mentioned that maybe they'd be interested in our house, and we thought ooh how cool would that be but we had no way of knowing if they'd be ok with the idea.  The realtor told the couple about our house and they are willing to come see it and if they like it, they are willing to do a swap of sorts.

I'm waiting on Bo to get back to me on what we're going to do, although I'm sure I already know the answer as it won't change the price.  But there's that voice of what if he says we'll see and if they say no then we'll go back to our plan.  That voice that says maybe this is everything lining up, and we're meant to have this house. 

Oh and we found someone that knows someone who is looking for land so IF they like ours we could have a possible buying in the next few weeks/months.

Anyone want to be my bartender while I wait for Bo's response???