Monday, February 28, 2011

I figured it out

I haven't been able to really write on my novel lately and I really thought it was because my brain is talking in other languages.  But I'm pretty sure that's not true.

I wanted to write on Friday but when I tried I just couldn't do it.  So I tried something else, something I never do because it always backfires on me.  I skipped ahead in the story.  Eeek.  But I wrote and it all just started pouring out.

And I think I know why.

I was writing about a girl who was seriously depressed and miserable, and my head isn't in that zone these days.  I'm too positive, perky and happy to be writing about a girl who can't eat or shower or get out of bed without being told to.  By skipping ahead, to the part of the story that I've been thinking and building for the last few years, everything worked.  I didn't have to try to get my brain in that mood to make things work or to see things in her eyes.  I was already there.

That also fixed a dilemma for me, because I wasn't sure if I should show her healing and moving forward after her world was destroyed or just skip that part.  I do want to write a book about depression because it's one of those things you don't truly understand until you are there and everyones story is different, but I don't think I'm quite ready for that yet.  I think I still have my own healing and my own growth to do first.  Besides, I don't know if I could get my mind in that mode only for my writing.  I'm afraid if I really force myself to go there, I may stay there and that I can't do. 

But hey I have my background and flashbacks all set up, LOL. 

1 comment:

Draft Queen said...

I totally get that. I find I can only write about certain things when I'm in that zone. It's so much easier to explain depression when you are there. Or just breaking free. It's not something you really want to focus on when you aren't. It's not fun.