Simple

Simplicity is what I need.

I tend to OCD things to death and turn them into things the size of Texas.  Which stresses me out.  Get's my anxiety going in high gear.  And leaves me standing at the end of the day with nothing accomplished.

Last week I was determined not to do this.  I needed a week of stress free cleaning and it wasn't exactly easy, with all the distractions and days of little to nothing done, but I managed to keep going anyway.  I made sure my lists were small.  That I stayed clear of my master list unless I needed it.  I focused on what I needed to do that day only.  Of course I also didn't do my routines, so the dishes piled up quickly and so did the laundry.

This week I'm using what I did last week and improving it.  You see I focused on the decluttering and forgot everything else, right down to reading the book for Literary Escapism.  I struggled with dinner because OMG it wasn't on my list and we ended up eating out way too much. That's OCD for ya.

My lists are going to remain small, 5 items only a day, plus my three recurring daily tasks.  But I'm going to make sure I include things like clipping coupons, reading my book, entering in author tour dates for LE, my own writing, research etc.  It's something I've said many times that I need to do, but I never put these things on my list.   Not sure why I skipped over it and hoped I would just remember and do it.  I don't work like that, I know this...

Simplicity and focus.  That's what I'm working on this week.  And if this week turns into a month, so be it.  I am getting no where in my life doing things the old way.  I'm not teaching my kids good habits.  I'm teaching them to procrastinate.  That stress is normal.  They have no responsibilities really, to build confidence and self worth.  And I really don't want them to turn into me when they grow up.  Spinning in circles trying to figure out what to do, where to go and what I want.  OCD isn't the entire problem...

My dream day would include a pin, paper and Henry Cavill wearing nothing but a smile and standing front of me...

I am not in the mood to read.  Not one itsy bitsy bit.  I have two books I'm supposed to be reading, and blogs I haven't even looked at in weeks.  And yet, any time I try no matter if it's a book, blog or a recipe, the words get lost somewhere in my brain and all I retain is gibberish.  Picture the teacher from Peanuts in her 'whack whack' language.  That's exactly what I hear/read.

I think the problem is I haven't been writing enough, so whenever I sit down to write I think of all the other things I need to do.  I need to clean the house, take care of Jocelyn and Bailey, fix dinner, and read/review books, etc.  I do goof off on Facebook FAR too much, but for the most part my day is covered on things I need to do that involve the happiness of other people.  Because if I do start writing, I go off in Nikki Land and don't return until someone knocks me on my butt.  I think...going out on a limb here, cause I've never thought this before....that one of the reasons I'm so scattered with my daily tasks and getting things accomplished is I still haven't mastered putting me in my day.  I've stopped taking my night off for one thing.  It started with Bo being sick and I had to take care of the kids, to me being sick and then things started happening on Wednesday night without fail to the point that I forgot to take my night off.  This Wednesday nothing prevented me from doing it, but I didn't and didn't even think about it until this morning.  When I was like fuck a duck, I didn't get a night off this week...or last week or the week before or...damnit three times when was my last night off???

I'm thinking November....

You know where my brain goes when I start reading or doing something?  I start thinking that if only I could devout that time to my writing.  Or organizing my pictures on my laptop.  Or research something all day or any of the other number of things I'd love to, that's just for little 'ol me.  Why am I still doing laundry?  Why am I still doing the dishes?  I don't give a rat's ass the floor needs to be swept and hasn't for like two weeks, I WANT TO WRITE ALL DAY DAMN YOU.  And then I walk away to goof off on my laptop, get angry get up and try to do something again...only to have the process start over.

Le sigh.

I think my inner drama queen is getting anxious to get this book written and done with and nothing is making her happy until it happens.  It's like I can, for the first time ever, see the book being done.  It's not an I wish I could make it happen thing, it's an I know I can make it happen if I just had the time.

It's too bad I can't afford a maid or a babysitter or a driver to cover those things for me to give me some space and quiet time and less things to worry about.

Anyone willing to donate a dollar to the 'Nikki needs assistants so she can write the damn book already Fund'.  I promise you'll get a free book if you do ;)...or at least a mention in the dedications.

Admitting I have a problem

I'm participating in a Black Dagger Brotherhood (series by author J.R. Ward about hottie vamps) read through on Literary Escapism.  If you have read this series, love this series or are interested, you should so totally join us.  I LOVE me some BDB!   

I'm starting to get it, that I am a nerd to the core and my brain only comprehends nerdish tasks/goals/ideas.  It overrides the thoughts of doing the dishes, cooking dinner, etc.

It's like seeing a totally hot man walking down the street that you are instantly attracted to.  Your brain turns to a mush that can't find any words to say other than 'OH MY GOD HE'S HOT'.  Your palms get sweaty.  Your heartbeat speeds up and feels as if it's about to jump out of your throat.  You get hot yet cold all at the same time.  You try not to stare but when his eyes meet yours, you can't help but stay glued to his magnificence.  And when he smiles, good lordy you about melt into a puddle.  Let's not talk about the embarrassment that sometimes happens when speaking is involved.  You are completely oblivious to anything around you and all you can think about is licking things off his skin....

That's me whenever I see a book.  I'm gone.  I cannot help it.  And no matter how hard I fight not to do this, unless someone is there forcing me away from the book, that damn thing is permanently glued to my hands until I read the last page...well if it's a good one it does LOL.

And if it's not a book someone else has written, it's my own.  It's me pouring over videos and photos of my inspiration...hey Henry Cavill, winky winky...to make sure I see things as clearly as I can and to get things just right.  Hey I've asked, authors do this, I am not stalking...

My board is full of things I need to do, and yet here I sit at my laptop blogging, planning blogs, looking at pictures, writing ideas for my book, and reading Dark Lover (book from the read through mentioned above) all at the same time.  My kids no longer know who I am and refer to me as that weird lady who sits at the dining room table all day long.

Newest review for you!

My latest find is James R. Tuck, which you MUST put on your to read/buy list or else we cannot be friends.  I've just read his novella That Thing at the Zoo and it ROCKS.  My only complaint was I got addicted from page 1 and it was over too soon.  Luckily I had his book Blood and Bullets to read...did you see the date??? I got to read it before it was released!! How spiffy is that?!?!  Anyhizzle, I haven't finished that review yet, you'll be seeing it soon promise, but I am hooked.  I am itching to see the rest of the series and I would gladly take them NOW if Mr. Tuck would let me have them.

Imagine LKH's Anita Blake with actual balls, with a little bit of Blade (the first movie) and some tenderness thrown in for good measure and you have Deacon Chalk.  It's amazballs.  You must read it when it is released!

So um...yeaaah

If anyone missed the interview with Nancy Gideon and are curious about what went down, you can download it and listen to it here, just scroll down to the bottom half of the page, it's at the top of the list.


Let me see if I can explain how yesterday went properly.  One, I felt pretty bad with the sinus pressure and by the afternoon dizziness had kicked in.  Two, Bailey was still sick and Jocelyn is cutting her back teeth as well as sniffy and snotty herself, aka cranky kids.  Three, about 5pm Bo sends me a message saying a server has died and since they don't have a backup of this particular server, they'll have to build it somehow to get by for the time being and that could take anywhere from an hour to 3 or more.  Which would, more than likely, mean he would be getting home after the interview started.

So not only did I feel poorly, with two kids feeling poorly, made dinner half assed (that we didn't eat btw), I'd be putting them to bed alone and holding out hope that somehow a miracle would happen that they'd stay in bed and I could join in 30 - 45 minutes after the interview began.  I won't lie, I thought for sure the anxiety would get the better of me and I'd have to beg Jackie to handle this without me.  I never once thought I'd get swarmed with things that could keep me from it, and boy I was not happy at all yesterday as the minutes ticked down to the interview.

I got lucky because Bo left work fifteen till 8, and with a 20 minute drive I was going to miss only a little of the interview.  I was stoked, let me tell you.  This is where things got cooky.  I was on the phone with Bo trying to listen to him and a headphone in the other ear trying to listen to the interview.  For the first 10 minutes of both, I have no clue what was said.  But I tried.  He got in the door, I gave him a kiss and ran upstairs, barely telling the kids good night.  Seconds later I ran back down the stairs...and again a few minutes later because I had forgotten things like my charger...and phone.

And that's when things got um really really cooky.  I'm a talker, and when I get anxious I barely breath with all the word vomit that pours out.  But last night I was unable to speak.  I was just sitting there listening to all the fabulous questions Jackie (owner of Literary Escapism) had thinking how crumby my questions were compared.  It took me until near the very end of the hour and a half interview to actually speak and ask a question.  I was all EEEEE I finally opened my mouth yay!  I asked a total of 4 questions...sigh.  It could have been worse, I could have been talking 90 to nothing and not letting anyone else speak.

Even with all the problems and the fact that suddenly this Chatty Cathy was turned into a shy mouse, the interview was a lot of fun.  I would do it again, but I am going to listen to each of the interviews done so far to come up with much better questions for next time.  After discussing this world of Nancy's, it has me extra excited to get her next book, Hunter of Shadows in my hand and I'm sure I'll be jumping at any noise outside in hopes it's the postman.

Keep your fingers crossed

I've dreaded/waited/pretended it didn't exist/fantasized about today for weeks now.  Today is the day I interview Nancy Gideon! You can see my reviews for her books here,here and here. I absolutely LOVE the Moonlight series and think you are crazy if you haven't read it yet.  You want drama?  You want romance? You want mystery?  You want shapeshifters?  This series is has it all!!!  I cannot get enough of it and kick myself daily for not owning the first book in the series.  But hey that's what Christmas and birthdays are for right?  Tonight we discuss the series, including her newest release (coming out today yippee), Hunter of Shadows.

I'm so excited about tonight my nerves are on high gear and I'm sure I'll have issues eating today.  This is my first ever interview ever, which is fab on it's own but to interview an author I love it's amazeballs.  There's only one small catch, I'm sick with a cold and this is a live interview on Talk Shoe.  Who wants to hear me sneeze and sniffle and cough?  I'm hoping we have enough cold meds to help me get through the interview without too many hiccups.  I'm just glad I have the option to stick to chatting instead to save you all the nasty sounds coming out of my nose right now.

Please join Literary Escapism and Nancy Gideon tonight at 8pm EST.

On the road to somewhere

Hey! How are ya?  Been kinda sporadic lately huh, sorry about that.  If you read my blog, you should know by now that I'm kinda like that anyway, technically this isn't a new development.  I'm just not talking to you about it.

I've been nice and busy with my writing, which has got me all perky and upbeat.  YEEEHAAWW!  See?  Kinda scary I know, try being in a room with my right now.  You'd run away, screaming.  There's also reading for LE that I've been trying to catch up on, which has taken up the remainder of my time.

Can I just say that if this was my profession I'd be one hell of a happy girl?  I've been rather busy with these two adventures and it's been way too much fun for me.  Oh dishes, can't you see I have something more important to do?  Go the frick away!  They sadly don't, but that's fine.  We can eat with our fingers, no biggie.

So if your wondering what the crazy lunatic is up to, that's what.  That and giggling and dancing around the house and scaring the poo out of my kids and husband....maybe I should film that and share, it's rather entertaining for me.

Oh and stay tuned, I get to interview an author this month on the phone no less!  I'll be telling you all the deets soon, promise.

MWUAH to all.

Review and reminder

I have two reviews on Literary Escapism at the moment:

Nancy Gideon's Chased By Moonlight... look at my first comment, it's from Nancy herself thanking me for the review!!! I made her day? She made mine by responding, how awesome is that!?!

And J.R.Ward Lover Avenged which is insanely awesome! YOU MUST READ THIS ONE TOO!

Now the reminder, please oh please don't forget to vote for your favorite short story!  You can find them here. 

Thanks everyone, mwuah!

What makes me giggle like a school girl.

It's getting a box FULL of books.

Last week I got a box of books sent to me for review; I was expecting like 7 or 8 tops.  But what I got was 17.  I laid them out all over the couch next to me and with each one I EEEEE'd.

You add those 17, plus the rest of what was sent to me months ago to review, plus the rest of the Black Dagger Brotherhood series by J.R. Ward, plus the latest Sherrilyn Kenyon (and the two or so before to get back into the swing of the world),  PLUS the three books I have sitting waiting on me from Bookswim...and well I've got my reading material covered for a while.

I'm so very nerdy in that I'm excited to sit down and map out what I'm reading next and give myself a schedule to get them all read in a timely manner.

And catalog all my new books....EEEEEEEEE

New Author Challenge

I've now hit my 8th author on my goal to read 15 new authors for 2011.  I thought for sure I'd signed up for 25 but I guess, according to this post, I only went for 15.

Looking at how close I am, that's kinda...sorry? Weak? Pathetic?

I can do more than that, HELLO.

But I'll stick to my 15 and then go from there. 

My next author is K.J. Taylor and her Fallen Moon series, it starts with The Dark Griffen.  I'm excited about this one, but then again I get giddy about most books, haha.  Do you know this series?  What do you think?

For someone who tends to hold tightly to authors I already know and not branch out unless forced, this is really fun.  I'm also learning more as a writer on different techniques, transitions, character formation and all that good mumbo jumbo.  So to be technical, I'm doing my homework and having fun all at the same time.

Wicked cool.

Book Review: Lover Enshrined

I'm here to tell you, YOU MUST READ J.R.WARD'S BLACK DAGGER BROTHERHOOD SERIES.  Got that?  Do I need to repeat myself?

My latest review for this series, Lover Enshrined has been published.  I've already started the next one, its a novella, Father Mine: Zadist and Bella's story.  I'm close to half way through already woohoo.  I cannot get enough of the world of the Brotherhood.  I may have my complaints but it really is one of the niftiest series out there, this world is addictive peeps.

Have you read this book/series?  Are you a fan of J.R.Ward? Or do you prefer someone else to her?  I'd love to hear from you!!

Book review: Mad Skills

I have a fantastical imagination, add that with OCD and well there are certain books/movies I stay clear of otherwise I have nightmares.

Mad Skills by Walter Greatshell is one such book.  Don't get me wrong it's pretty good but the chick makes homemade weapons in a MacGyver way that has my imagination on high alert. 

I still recommend it, though I will never read it again.

Reading challenge

I love my gig over at Literary Escapism and realize I don't talk about it enough here.   I should, as I'm always carrying around a book like a security blanket.  That and the fact that it would throw a curve into my typical posts and actually shake things up a little.  I have barely posted my reviews for the sight, bad Nikki no soup for you.

I joined in on a challenge, that was scary as Medusa for me but I've decided it could be fun.  In fact, it could help me branch out as well as teach me on my adventure to make a book of my own.

This challenge is to read 15, 25 or 50 new authors this year.  It doesn't have to be brand new authors, just new for you.  I tend to stick to a small handful of peeps unless someone holds me down and forces me to read someone new.  So this is a big challenge for me. 

I'm trying for 15 to be safe since I'm still reading the authors that I love and know already in my to-read list, but who knows I may pass this number by and leave it spinning in circles.

I'll be slowly building my list, sharing it here, and any suggestions would be fantabulous!

What about you?  Would you like too join?  You can find the sign up sheet here.