Showing posts with label babies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label babies. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Today

Today I gazed out my window of my office...ok fine it's the dining room...as I took a break from blog surfing and gazing at books, which is my porn you know.  I thought I need to snap some shots, to show how my day looked.  


You are curious to know what I do all day.


Just admit it.  

My view's not so bad right?  Rural neighborhood in a small-ish town that is growing extremely fast. The other views included the polar bear and his mammoth sized poo piles...figured you'd prefer these shots instead.

And my company, well they freaking rock.

Look at that face!  Those cheeker weekers!  Don't you want to just nibble and eat her up?

She and I have had a boring time of it lately.  These past few weeks have not been the best, emotional and energy wise for me.  But things are getting better...the more sleep I get.

Which reminds me, thank you oh great dr. who prescribed Bo sleeping pills.  You deserve a kiss with tongue my good man.

  
She's too busy eating her Nutella and fossils (aka pretzels) to care that there's a camera.  She's my kinda target.




Each day I feel a little more like a human.  It's kinda weird let me tell you.  But at least I can take these moments and enjoy them instead of letting them pass me by.


And when little man got home I attacked him with the camera.  He's the kid that poses the second he sees a camera and smiles so crazy like you wonder how his cheeks don't burst from his face.  I had to tell him NOT to pose, to be normal.  Look at his book and just let me take a picture or 20.  













This made him nervous, and I saw myself and my dad come out in him.  He doesn't chuckle and stiffen up like my dad does.  Or say over and over 'I HATE pictures.  Please don't take a picture of me' like I do.


But when I say give me a bit of a smile, there's that pose again, there's that smile, and he gets all fidgety as if he's trying to hang onto a million monkeys.

Everything else about my day doesn't matter.  You don't need pictures of me lying on the couch in a fetal position hoping the Tylenol kicks in soon.  Or of my hair that's half ass in a pony tail and my look of 'don't fuck with me or you will lose a body part'.  Believe me.  These two munchkins, they matter.  They are part of why I get up in the mornings and keep trying to overcome my issues.  They are why I smile and why I laugh and have fun.

Well that and their daddy, who will get his own camera attack momentarily. 

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Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Parenting tricks

We've talked over and over about things we can change in how we interact with Bailey and how to discipline him, I've even purchased books to help.  One book in particular hasn't given us much help, the other two I just bought last night so we still have hope for them.  There's two things we've tried so far and have actually noticed a change, and I thought I'd share just in case anyone out there is having similar issues with their munchkin.

1 - Every day I ask the kids to help me do something.  Jocelyn is a so a 2 year old, she'd rather play or empty out the bin we just filled with toys, plus she's seen her brother throw fits over cleaning and she thinks that's normal.  There are times we make it a game (see who can pick up the most toys before the timer goes off) and it works, other times neither could care less.  It's always hit and miss, but I refuse to let it go because they need responsibility.  Last week Bailey did his typical fit of 'NO I DON'T WANT TO CLEAN NOOO!', I told him he either picked up the 6 items or he'd clean something I chose.  When he didn't clean up the toys I said he got to clean the toilet.  Now I admit I made it worse by laughing and saying how happy I was that I wasn't doing it and there was lots of dripping sarcasm, but I was piffed and my attitude slipped out.  He didn't like it, but he cleaned it, and ever since if I say let's clean up our toys he does it without much of a fight.  In fact I can't tell you how many times I said that we'd start cleaning at a specific time because I had something to do first, and he'd start cleaning without me.  It hit me last night that he's been doing that ever since he cleaned the toilet.  Who would have thought!?!?!  So now it's either he cleans what I ask him to or I choose something.  Either way he gets his job done, he gets praise for helping and I get to check off one less thing on my to do list.

2 - Ignore the bitch.  Now I don't believe in ignoring the kids bad behavior, because it should be addressed and it should have repercussions, however sometimes ignoring can do you some good.  One of the things he does is he continues a fight for as long as he can.  For instance in time out he sits and screams and says mean things to me, and the more he does it the longer the fit and his anger lasts.  Most of the time I ignore him completely and just remind him ever so often in a calm voice that time out will not start until he is quiet.  Well that's not exactly how Super Nanny says to do things, but excuse me if my son says he didn't do anything wrong and it's my fault he just kicked the cat you bet your biscuits I'm going to put the smack down. Except what we've done is taken what he was initially in time out for and added on other things, making it a timeout for everything instead of one thing.  We talked about this the other day and how its obvious that sometimes he eggs things on for extra attention, and those times we should just ignore it.  We tested it out when he threw a fit over something (totally can't remember now they are all one blur at the moment) and instead of rising to his scream of no he wasn't going to or whatever it was, we didn't comment on it at all.  Instead of him screaming and whining/fake crying for 30 minutes, he didn't last but a minute or two before he stopped completely.  HOT DAMN!  This means that in time out we ignore him when he tries to make things worse, no matter what he says or does, we ignore him.  And to make sure he is given the least amount of ammo, he's now sitting in the corner on the floor with his back to us instead of on the rocking chair where he can see us and can rock himself into the wall.  Anytime he screams out in anger trying to keep the fight going, we are ignoring him.

This is not to say he's improved so much he's a new kid, not hardly.  But we've seen a few changes and a few instances of this working, and that is far better results than what we were doing.

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Friday, October 14, 2011

Found an answer

It's looking as if Bailey is a strong willed child.  On one hand thanks to all things holy it wasn't 'bad parenting skills' that was the culprit.  Other hand, shiiiiat this is hard because we have to parent differently.

We thought he was getting better and we were getting better at handling his outbursts.  Then Tuesday came along and I got a call from the councilor.  No he wasn't doing better, he was the same but that day he was worse.  Like way worse.  Like sent to the principal twice, got taken around the school to observe how to act in class and then ended up in detention worse.

My 6 year old.

My first instinct was of course anger.  I'm doing what they say.  Every morning and evening it's the exact same routine, he knows the goal and he knows what's expected of him.  But that doesn't matter, it's still a fight with lots of yelling and screaming.  Before shopping trips or going out for dinner, we explain the rules and what's expected of him/them.  Doesn't always matter, he still makes it difficult up until we are in the store/restaurant.  If we say 'you do this one more time and you will be punished by blah' and he does it again we follow through with it.  We don't give in to his whining.  We don't shower him with toys and candy to make him mind.  ETC.  And we have from the beginning.  According to the experts this is a huge tool and one that will give kids stability and help with behavior.  But Bailey, he wants to do what he wants, when he wants and doesn't care what you ask of him, punishment only lasts so long and he knows it.  The experts need to come to my house for a few days, ha.

It just so happened that on Tuesday night there was a parent's workshop at his school and we moved heaven and earth to get there on time.  The first workshop we attended, they had many to choose from, was about family routines.  We aced it, the only thing we came away with was on times he drags his feet to set a timer, everything else we do and always have.  Who said we don't have routines down in this house...oh me yeah well now I know differently.  Oh that and he has far too much free time, and should earn it not get it naturally, but we already knew that. The second session we chose was for behavior.  The lady went through all the you set the rules, you don't bend the rules and you always follow through with punishment stuff.  So I piped up, what happens if you do that and always have but your child, who at one time responded to it, no longer does.  She asked me a few questions and I explained how no matter what the punishment is or how consistent we are with rules and punishments, he continues to scream and yell and fight us on things because he'd rather be doing something else. She referred me to books on strong willed children and said that would be very helpful to me, that it sounds like that is the problem which means our parenting isn't bad, it just doesn't mesh with a strong willed child.

She felt bad enough that she gave me a very tight and long hug after the session was over and made sure I understood it's not our fault, and it's not his fault either and we are not alone.  I like that little ol lady, I asked if I could keep her and she said no.  Bummer.

I've got one of the books she recommended on my Kindle, I've read like 10 pages so far and so far I haven't learned anything really.  But at least now we have a direction to go in, and if this book or the other books she told us about doesn't work, we can look in a new direction.  It's better than nothing.

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Thursday, October 13, 2011

Her father the super hero

This morning while changing her diaper, Jocelyn told me a story that went a little something like this:

Mama I saw the moon upstairs (she means in the sky)

You did?

Uh huh and I need my wings so I can go get it.

Do you have wings?

Uh huh.  I have wings like Tinkerbell.  I put them on and fly to the moon and get it.  It's my moon.

Hmm you will need to practice that sugar.  That's a long trip.

Daddy can do it.  Daddy is a super hero and he can fly and get the moon for me.

Daddy is a super hero?  Hmm that makes sense.

Yes.  Daddy is a super hero.  I'm little but I can make it too.

You are little but you can make it to the moon too?

Uh huh cause Daddy and I can fly to the moon.


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Saturday, September 10, 2011

Promising to be a long night

Both kids are sleeping in new and bigger beds tonight.  There's a very said Mama here tonight.

Bailey has been in a toddler bed as long as we could keep him there.  One, he's short like me and could still fit in it until now.  Two...well come on he's still my baby and damnit the kid should not be too big for a toddler bed.  That's not fair.  And now it's Jocelyn's bed.  JOCELYN'S!!  It was one thing to take down the rail on her crib to make a teeny weeny day bed, but a toddler bed?  Her crib in the garage?!  No more baby bed?!

I need a drink.  A tall one, with lots of booze.

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Sunday, August 14, 2011

A day at the hospital

Deep breathing over here, and not for something kinky...damnit three times.

I got a call this morning at 5:50, my niece's water broke.  Me, well being me, was awake and watching the ceiling fan when she called and I was like EEE sweet, as well as um who the fuck is that.  After the call I somehow fell back to sleep and ended up not getting to the hospital until around 9 or 10...time at this point is one big blur so excuse me for not having the precise times.

Hospitals are not my thing, ESPECIALLY this hospital.  It's where my grandpa, my grandma and my uncle, to name a few, have died.  Days after I visited them...Its the first thought in my head when I see this place, those wonderful people that I lost there.  I see their faces, I remember their smiles.  And that pain and the anxiety happens all within seconds, even when I drive by.  When I'm there...well it's a mystery how I stay inside my skin and my already talkative nature goes into overdrive just to keep myself from screaming and running from the place or tossing my cookies.  I'm sure I was annoying, but I could care less.  I was there.  I was there for K and that's all that matters.

The tiny grasshopper was born around 6pm, him having K and her daddy's long toes, aka finger-toes hehe, and lots of dark black hair.  He looks like her, and NOTHING like his deadbeat, asshole sperm donor of a father.  Speaking of moose turds, no one told him what was going on and I'm not sure if he'll find out for a few days.  Serves the fucker right for the shit he's done to her...but that's another blog post.  I left not long after he was born, so I have no stats but the dr said he'd guess he's 6lbs maybe a little over.  He's so teeny tiny.  That explains how she gained 13 pounds and looked like she was 5 months instead of 9.

It was strange to be there, on that side of the situation and not the one in the bed in pain.  It's been a while since I was visiting someone in labor.  It was even harder because it was K.  I may have been 9 when she was born but I still had a big part in raising her.  It was tough not being able to help, and quite comical when I was giving her the advice she asked for and she was having NONE OF IT.  But the best part, the very very best part next to seeing that teeny face for the first time and hearing everything was ok, was watching her boyfriend.

See, at first most of us were like OMG she's not divorced and she's dating, that's like a bad idea all on it's own, then you throw in she's pregnant with her soon to be ex husband's baby....what the hell.  I was confused over what kind of guy would date a girl who was a) still married and b) pregnant with the other dude's kid.  Either he was a player or one hell of a guy.  From watching him today, he's one hell of a guy.  He was there the entire time, and pacing and anxious and terrified as if it were his baby about to be born.  And when his relatives showed up with a pair of teeny cowboy boots, he was so excited and proud and couldn't wait to show K and see the new baby in them.  Yup, his relatives were there too, all just as excited and proud. 

That's pretty amazing in my book.  I don't trust people.  I don't normally like people to be honest and yet somehow I'm a people person, go figure on that one.  But this guy, I like.  He showed real emotion today in that lobby, he wasn't a cocky shit, he was a ball of nerves and worried like crazy over my niece.  And his family...well I think I like them too.

I don't know where things are headed for K now, but with this cute as hell baby and that insanely considerate boyfriend of hers, all I can hope for is somewhere better than where she had been.

Congrats K, he is a gorgeous little boy and lucky as hell to have you as Mama.  I love you both!

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Monday, August 08, 2011

Making a baby cry

My nephew, whose this 3 month old chunky monkey yet with skinny arms and legs and teeny tiny feet and hands, is probably going to have nightmares of me for the rest of his life.

I made him cry by pretending to toss my cookies.

I was telling a story about how I have done BIL's laundry many times.  And one time, he brought home like 3 big trash bags full of dirty clothes from his latest work related trip and my first handful was about 100 pairs of underwear.  I never went very far in my thought process of washing his dirty clothes, so imagine my delight when I look down and notice I'm holding a pair of his undies by the crotch with more hanging from my fingertips.  I somehow shoved them and I swear every single pair of underwear he owned plus that of 4 other people in the washing machine, slammed the door shut then ran to the bathroom to bleach, boil and scrub the skin off of my hands. 

I still swear he gathered all his underwear and put them all together just to mess with me.

So anyway, I like to animate when I speak sometimes, and when I said 'Oh my God I was like gagging and about to puke' I mimed gagging.

That's when Wyatt looked up at me as he sat on my knee, his itty bitty bottom lip started to quiver and 10 seconds late he began to cry.  I was shhhing and ooh I'm sorry and all that while giggling.  He was seriously freaked out.  Eventually I got him calmed down but he did not want to look at me after that.

And to think, I've finally gotten used to being around him without getting all sad and mushy and now he's terrified of me....

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Thursday, May 05, 2011

It only took three cases of Redbull

I am better today.  Not great but better. 

And I think it has to do with me berrying myself in everything from Facebook games, to historical research, to random celebrity stalker websites.  I focused on everything else yesterday so I wouldn't have time to think. 

Although that means I did nothing around the house minus making dinner.  Cleaning lets my brain roam sometimes, so no housework.  Didn't want the bad thoughts to consume me.  Plus I already felt all blue and mushy without thinking; didn't want to find out how much worse I would feel if I did.

Well that and two lovely people who sent me encouraging messages yesterday.  Thank you Jo and Jill!  And of course my Honey Cheeks for checking in on me last night.  MWUAH thank you all.

I'm done letting my emotions ruin this time for us.  We have a new nephew and that is far more important than my 'drama'. 


Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Feeding my dragon today

Last night baby Wyatt Ely R. was born weighing in at 6lbs15oz and 19 1/2 inches long. 

I should be rejoicing and happy and all that involved with having a new baby in the family.  But I'm not.

I can't.

The kids and I stayed home since we're still sniffly but Bo headed to the hospital to be there with the family.  I actually asked him to wait until he was born before leaving.  Not because it could be 4am before he got back home like he thought, it was because I wanted him with me and not there.  With a new baby. 

I was keeping it all in until Bo asked what was wrong with me.  Which was when I got mad, it was like he hadn't been paying attention to what I've been saying if he had to ask that question.  Did I not tell you that having K and J pregnant right now was kicking my ass?  That I just wanted to cry knowing they are going through something I'll never get to experience again?  HELLOO.  He says he was hoping it was something he'd done to piss me off and not that.  Because then it would be something that he could fix, this is something he can't.  Then he said he felt guilty for getting snipped because of how badly I feel.

Even though it was a decision we made, and one I still agree with 100%, I can't help that I want more.  And it kills me to know he feels guilty like it's his fault.

He says I'm heartbroken.

I say I'm being stupid.

He says it will get easier plus we've always talked about adopting someday.

I say I'm afraid to see this baby.  I'm afraid that I won't be able to hold him or look at him without crying and people are going to notice and I'll have to explain.  How do you explain something you don't understand?  And adopting...that's years away before it will happen.  It doesn't help me right now.

I feel like such a jerk right now. 

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Sneeze...sniffle....coooouuuuuggggghhhhh

I really should go back and reread all my holiday posts because I swear I've been sick during holiday's every time. 

I caught the cold Bailey had.  And sadly so did Jocelyn who is so miserable it makes me want to cry.  She doesn't have a fever anymore, so that's an improvement, but her eyes are watery and swollen and she squints to see out of them.  Her nose is all runny and you can hear the drainage when she talks.  I feel more sorry for her than I feel sick, and right now I feel like shit. 

No I haven't taken her to the dr because when I took Bailey in, he basically said it's just a cold and unless it goes away then comes back with a fever and worse than the first time, it'll pass with over the counter meds.  When I mentioned she had started to get sniffly, he said the same thing about her.  I'd rather not waste another trip, but man she seems miserable.

I'm thinking I need to press rewind, and ask Santa for a sick free holiday, or at the very least cold meds that actually work for us.  At this point, there's no recouping from the holiday, we're still trying to get through being sick.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Farther and farther away

It's still tough sometimes when it hits me, Jocelyn is my last baby.  I still want another baby, if not more than one.  But I know myself, I know I couldn't handle it.  Plus Bo's swimmers are no more.  So it's adopting if we do decide to have more. 

Which is what we've always wanted to do.  But it's still painful to think I'll never be pregnant again.

Anywho, Jocelyn turns 2 in little over a month and over the weekend she asked to have her diaper changed.  Potty training, le sigh.  I HATE diapers, I HATE changing them and  I REALLY REALLY HATE THAT MY BEDROOM/BATHROOM SMELLS LIKE THEM.  On that front, yes yes yes am I ready to be past this phase.  But it also means, no more baby. 

It's tough to think of her as being 2, or almost 2 anyway.  I've been saying she's almost 2 for a while now; people without kids look at me weird when I say 20 months.  I thought I'd get used to it, but I haven't.  She's too damn small to be 2.  She's too damn cute to be 2.  She still picks things up and tries to eat them, 2 year olds don't do that...right?

We've started the potty training, and she seems to be very excited and interested.  WOOHOO.  But it is only day 2, and we aren't 100% training.  No I don't think it's good to one day be all diapers and the next day none.  I think it confuses them and makes them more likely to protest.  That's just me, even though everyone tells me I have to be strict about it and make it happen.  Thanks for the advice, glad it worked for you, but you are not me...and you don't know my daughter.

Who pooped and peed in her pullup within 10 minutes of sitting down on the potty for the second time, and gave me a grin and an ornery giggle when I told her "Uh oh we need to go in the potty".    It's little by little with this one, cause she fights you the whole way.


Saturday, October 23, 2010

She's a spunky nutball

A few minutes ago I was ordered to put a shirt on Jocelyn, and not just any shirt, oh no she wanted Bailey's pj shirt.  It wasn't a subtle hey Mama, it was crying with ON ON ON and Bailey shirt repeated over and over until I complied.  And now she's as happy as can be. 

This is my girl, she's got this quirk to her that you can't help but laugh at.  She wants her shirt off most of the time, and if she's got a skirt on she pulls it up so it resembles a belt.  She wants her socks and shoes on, or she's walking around in someone else's shoes, her bracelet on and she tops it off with her sideways hat.  

Then you have her looks.  She frowns at you, she opens her eyes as big as she cans and bats those eyelashes while pursing her lips at the perfect times, she tilts her head to the side with a serious expression and says huh after she asks for something, and I can't forget that ornery smile she does whenever she's into something or thinking of getting into something she knows she's not supposed to.  That smile gives her away every time.

One of her favorite things she likes to do is while you're changing her diaper, is to tell and show you where her body parts are, her favorites are where her butt and her nini is....her name for her vag not mine.  And every great once in a while she grabs onto her ankles, spreads her legs wide suddenly and says boo.

But then she has her dangerous daredevil side that scares the holy shit out of me.  Like the times she dives headfirst off the couch even though every single time she does, she gets hurt.  Many times she has bent in half making me scream in panic because I'm sure she's just broken something or hurt something serious.  This happens more than once every day and she typically does it when I'm far enough away from her I can't stop her.  You'd think she'd stop but I'm pretty sure she thinks one of these days she'll make it down and won't get hurt.  She tries to stand up on the furniture and thinks its a game, even though she almost always falls.  She gets right on the edge of the couch and the lunges in a direction away from the couch and can't figure out how she falls or how she gets hurt.  She tries to climb under things every chance she can, and ALWAYS hits her head and starts screaming as if it's the first time.  This she did not inherit from me, this is Bo all the way and has me on constant panic mode.  One of these day's I'm so afraid she's going to get hurt badly, and all because she knows to do these things when no one is close to her to stop her. 

Not so daredevil but on the strange side anyway, yesterday she tried to lick her brother's butt.  Out of the blue she starts trying to lick things and I guess he was close enough she thought hey I think I'll lick him too.  Thankfully we got her to stop before she actually licked something.

It surprises me that this little goober can think now and is beginning to tell us things.  For instance, two days ago she wanted to go outside, so she asked for her coat and shoes and socks.  All I gave her was her coat thinking she just wanted it on for kicks, so she takes off to the back door and says puppy outside go and got very upset when I said no.  While Mama was here she took Bailey to school and picked him up on Thursday and Friday, and Joss was so not happy about it.  She would all of a sudden tell me Bailey go and then point to the closet where I keep my purse and say keys, because she knew we were supposed to leave.  This girl knows and she's too damn small to be able to comprehend and put things together like this.

I have a son whose this serious little thinker, whose kind and loving but has his stubborn ornery side and a daughter who has the makings of a comedian/stunt woman who can't get enough of babies and anything sparkly.  It blows me away how different they are.  People say it all the time, each kid is different, but until you have more than one you really don't get it.  Then its like wow, where did these two people with these two crazy personalities come from.


Thursday, October 14, 2010

3am

Picture it: NE Oklahoma New Years Eve.  I was at a friends house for  New Years Party.  I'm pretty sure as usual I was the only girl there with 6 boys.  Get that thought out of your head right now, I only slept with one of them...and married him ;).  We were watching the new Godzilla and I was bored.  All I remember is Bo and I were talking and flirting like crazy and to this day I've never seen that movie.  Something that had NEVER happened before, as Bo was my best friend and I had never had those thoughts about him.  He drove me home that night, as usual, but instead of me going inside, I stayed in his truck...and we made out until 3am.  When I walked inside my mother was waiting for me, beyond not happy that I was way past my curfew.  I explained to her that I'd been back before my curfew but Bo and I had talked in the car and didn't notice the time.  She wasn't so mad after that, or so I remember, cause Bo was well Bo, my friend.  I'm pretty sure he's why I didn't get into trouble for being late that night. 

Picture it: Last night I get woken up by coughing, lots of coughing and a little voice in the dark saying "I need cough medicine".  I get the medicine, the only one I can find without my glasses and barely opened eyeballs.  It just so happened that Bailey doesn't like that particular medicine and began to cry.  I was half awake, could barely talk and was so not in the mood for that, I told him to suck it up it's all we had.  Yes I know, Bad Mama award.  I gave him some water, and walked him back to bed.  I made a pit stop at the spare bathroom and when I walked out I could hear him crying.  SHIT now what.  I go in and he's hunkered down in his bed in a funny position.

He'd spilled his water all over himself and his bed because he tried to get the cup off of his toy box while still lying down.  After changing his sheets and tucking him back in, I made my way back to bed.  As I was climbing under the covers, I saw the clock, 3:34 and I smiled, like I always do when I see the clock around that time of the morning.

I love my babies with every ounce of me, but I wish I'd been awake at 3am because I was making out with the hottie that is my hubby.





Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Is it me?

Or have we been sick with a cold/sinus thing since like the second week of school?

I've heard the kids get sick, but no one mentioned that EVERYONE would get sick too.

Right now I have Niagra Falls inside my sinus', tasty breakfast that, my throat is scratchy from all that gunk, I'm coughing up more gunk, AND I have tons of sinus pressure all over my head.  Bo has the scratchy throat and runny nose.  Bailey can't stop coughing no matter how much cough meds we give him, due to ahem drainage.  And now, Jocelyn is starting to cough and her runny nose has become a fashion statement.

WHEN IS THIS GOING TO END?!?!?!?!

Thursday, September 09, 2010

Obviously a moron.

I read an article this morning about a North Carolina restaurant banning screaming children.  No, I won't post the link because I find it too retarded to give it more attention than I already am.  And no that's not a pun on the mentally handicapped so please keep your trap shut. 

I HATE crap like this.  Obviously the people in charge of banning or complaining about children do not have any.  As if we say ok kids, go ahead and act like a douche in public...although some do and could care less what others think.  Our kids behave in public, and if they don't we leave, we don't let them make a scene disturbing others.

I can understand how the restaurant doesn't want screaming kids to interrupt their customers dinner, I agree, but banning them is going over board.  What about the parents?  You think we enjoy our child acting like an ass in public? 

The person who wrote the article said 'Who wants to listen to a kid throwing a tantrum while sitting down for a nice meal?!'...honestly moron do you think we do?  Just because one is a parent doesn't mean they enjoy it either, not to mention most of us haven't had a nice quiet meal in years and we totally deserve one more than those who don't have kids.


Here's a better idea, instead of banning them how about making a kid friendly area?  You had smoking and non smoking, how about kid and non kid areas??  How about giving them crayons and things to color with?  How about understanding that sometimes kids don't behave, that its not the fault of the parent thank you very much, and not be such an asshole to us?  How about trying to accommodate ALL customers, not just those without kids???

To me, this is as stupid and mean as those restaurants that don't allow breastfeeding.  What's the point of a restaurant if you can't eat?  Here's your menu, eat our food but you can't feed your child...hmm oxymoron if I've ever heard of one.  Breastfeeding is no different than bottle feeding or eating spaghetti people, only pervs make it disgusting and they are the ones that should hide, not a mother trying to feed her child the natural way.   Penis, penis, penis, vagina, vagina, vagina, it only becomes dirty if you make it. 

It's not easy finding restaurants that are kid friendly as it is, at least for us considering we don't have much of a variety to choose from.  I'd rather it be, ok this place the food is too messy, this is too expensive than this place doesn't allow children to be children.

Do you agree?

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

It's Tuesday??? Really??

When your pregnant or thinking of having kids people will tell you little things to look forward to, like you will get no sleep.  Although you don't truly get what that means until its 2 in the morning, you're feeding a baby that you swear you just fed and put to bed 20 minutes before and you're going on 2 weeks of 2-4 hours a night of sleep...none of it all at the same time.  Thats what they mean by no sleep, except even then, you have to be there and feel it before you REALLY appreciate the hell of sleepless nights with a newborn can be.  But you get through, and its well worth it.

I'd do it 100 times if I could, even though I'd whine and complain from sleep deprivation.

My point...Oh yeah.

One thing that no one really tells you about kids and sleepless nights, is how you lose days.  Yup days.  You wake up one morning knowing what the date is, but the next morning you could swear its 1998 again.

Sunday night was rough.  We went to bed later than usual, I couldn't sleep and then Bailey has a nightmare and climbs in bed with us.  We had planned on putting him back in bed once he had calmed down but somehow we all fell asleep.  Or sleeping in small bursts anyway.  I woke up many times with a toe in my eyeball, or feet kicking my chest.  How?  Because Bailey doesn't sleep with just his head on a pillow, he lays his whole body on it. 

Yesterday I was a zombie, the headache I had all day Sunday was still kicking my butt, I barely slept, and I felt like I'd been hit by a honey wagon...Don't know what that is, well its one of many terms used for the horse drawn wagons that would go from home to home, and people dumped the contents of chamber pots in it.  Yup, enjoy that visual. 

Bo stayed home and I am so very thankful he did because I basically slept off and on all day yesterday.  Guess when I finally felt awake?? 4:00 pm!!!  I laid down three times yesterday and I'd fall asleep for a few minutes then wake up, off and on.  I was barely able to keep my eyes open, and when I FINALLY got sleep I swear to you it was like winning the lottery. 

Poor Bo was just as tired, but somehow that man can go on 3 hours of sleep and be relatively normal.  I, on the other hand, cannot function.  Although he did fall asleep for a little bit while I threw dinner together, the poor thing.

I wake up this morning and think ok it's Monday, I have this and this to do on Mondays....except its Tuesday.

Monday, April 05, 2010

It’s not Rocket Science

I watched Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution this weekend, I think its episode 3 or something, and I want to throw up.

People, who are in charge of the health and education of our children while in school, who dictate the things they are fed, think that French Fries are vegetables. Come on? Seriously? That’s like saying a slice of cheesecake covers your dairy requirements. Pardon me, but what the fuck are you people thinking?

What are you putting into our kid’s bodies just to save time? Is it worth it? Really? Is it ok to watch these kids get heavier and heavier, knowing what you are saying is ok to feed them is PART of the problem? Would you want to eat greasy pizza, or hamburger and fries everyday for lunch? I doubt it; I bet you have your salads and grilled chicken or something else just as healthy and tasty instead. BECAUSE YOU KNOW BETTER THAN TO EAT IT EVERY DAY.  So please stop giving it to our children.

As parents, it is our responsibility to teach our children about life and how to survive out in the world, yet little things like financing money and nutrition get over looked. We are a country in MASSIVE debt, and obese on top of it.  And who do people blame?  The Golden Arches and the school system, when in reality the parents are the most at fault.

Yes I said it. You can’t blame the school system and not the parents, since both are in charge of shaping kids into adults.

Neither Bo nor I were taught portions as children. I was always told to clear my plate and to this day I have issues when I can’t eat everything I’ve dished out. Do I make Bailey eat everything on his plate? No. Because this is where overeating begins. This is when portions need to be learned, as well as learning your body’s signals saying no more. Making you clear you plate is encouraging overeating. If you don’t want the food to go to waste, put it in the fridge, simple as that. Wasting is one thing, overeating is something else entirely folks.

If we don’t teach our kids these things, and then send them to school where more bad choices are given, they won’t know what to do. Our children will have weight issues for the entire lives, just like most of us parents already do, if we as a group don’t do something about this.

Have you ever looked at the ingredients for chicken nuggets? Do it and you’ll be surprised that chicken is way down the list on ingredients, the majority of what makes those things are chemicals. You can make you own, with nothing but ground chicken and bread crumbs, not only are they healthier but they taste better, AND YOU KNOW WHAT GOES INTO THEM. Pizza is not a healthy food just because it has all the food groups. Ice cream and/or cake is not an everyday dessert. Fruit should not come from a can or jar, they tend to be loaded with unnecessary sugar and preservatives. If you start them from the beginning eating healthy, they will always eat healthy.

No offense but I really don’t want to hear any “Well my kids only eat hot dogs and potato chips, it’s a nice thought but they refuse to eat anything else”. 1)who gave it to them in the first place and kept the house stocked with it? 2)who is in charge you or your kids? If you have these options in your home they will always choose it. If you give them healthy foods instead, they will eventually eat it once they realize you’re not giving in and they won’t get to eat anything else instead. What’s harder to deal with, the melt down/fit because they can’t have the hot dog or watching your child struggle with weight issues all their life knowing you started it and kept it going? They won’t starve; do you not notice the excitement and rush when dinner is announced? Even dr’s will tell you, they won’t starve they’ll eat when they get hungry enough. Get the kids involved in cooking; give them the responsibility of choosing what’s for dinner or a side sometimes and let them help you cook. If they only eat mac and cheese, add veggies to it! But make the mac and cheese yourself! It’s not hard and its real cheese verses some powder concoction. My son loves poptarts, I’m learning how to make them so it’s a)cheaper and b)better for him.  Start a change, its worth the effort.

I also don’t want to hear “I can’t afford to cook healthy”, $5 dinners says differently. Homemade salad costs less than prepackaged cut lettuce. Most fruit and veggies cost much less if you get them fresh and in season. You can always freeze them if you are afraid you won’t use it before it goes bad. My mother for instance, buys bell peppers when they go on sale, cuts up and freezes the ones she won’t use. They come out tasting just the same, and just as crunchy. Use coupons. Price grocery stores and find when sales are going on. It can be done, but it does take work.

Yes I am overweight, yes so is my husband, and no that doesn’t mean we don’t know jack about nutrition. I know you need lots of fresh fruit and veggies, you need dairy, you need protein, you need iron, etc.  I know you have to eat the right portion size, even if its a salad, portion size is KEY to maintaining or losing weight.  You have to keep track of what you eat throughout the day so you know when you went wrong and can do things to make up for it.  You should drink more water than anything else, ESPECIALLY pop/soda…a problem I have myself haha.  Plus you have to have movement, lots of movement!

My husband has lost 25 pounds in three months on Weight Watchers. His issues were: he wasn’t eating enough most days and over eating others, he skipped meals most of the time, and he’s a computer man so he wasn’t moving all that much. Now he’s doing pushups and stuff off and on throughout the day, he’s making sure he eats his meals, and drinking water. He hasn’t given up anything, and has lost 25 pounds!  Now me, I have metabolism issues, I also barely eat some days and over eat others, which does not help my already wonky metabolism, and I wasn’t moving enough. We’ve done the same things (minus the push-ups, chin-ups and such), I’ve gone down as far as 10 pounds, and right now I’m at 7 pounds down. Why? Your guess is as good as mine, I don’t get it either and neither does my dr. I eat fresh fruit and toast for breakfast, leftovers or salad from the night before for lunch and a low calorie dinner with a low calorie dessert. Nothing outrageous, nothing so crazy it’s hard to keep up with, its simple easy substitutes that taste better and are way better for your body. Part of my weight loss issues were my meds, they kept me sluggish and tired and that does not equal weight loss. Now that I have new meds, I’m moving all the time so HOPEFULLY that will help because I’m already eating better.

Parents, we need to give our children better choices. Look at it this way, not only will it be taking better care of our children but it will help us be healthier as well! Schools please help us by doing the same while they are in your care. Together we can make a difference, against each other nothing is going to change. And please stop blaming fast food, it’s not their fault parents get their kids that junk every meal. Stop going, simple as that.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Getting ever so close

Bo is on his way to his second appointment of getting Mr. Snippy. 

It’s getting easier coming to terms with this since it wasn’t a fast progression, but it still hurts and makes me sad.  I don’t like the permanent thing of this procedure, not the surgery as a whole in general just the fact that its happening to us.

I don’t have to go into why this bugs me or hurts since I’ve done that enough times that I’m sure you all get it and are at that point of SHUT UP NIKKI.  Everyone I’ve talked to, I admit hasn’t been many, that their husband has had this done, are 100% on board, no one can relate to me wanting more.  It makes me feel alone and more like a freak that I have issues with this.  I know I’m not the only one out there that wasn’t thrilled when their spouse got “fixed”.  I can’t be, but where are they in my circle of friends and family?  Are you hiding it and trying to be all macho?

We’re both oddly hoping the doc will say hey lets do this tomorrow morning and get it over with, so I will stop hoping he changes his mind and he can get all the stress and nervousness over.  I feel for him, I know this is a big deal (he has more than just a snip to be done, that can’t wait either) and I try very hard not to make comments about wishing he wouldn’t or is he really sure this is what he wants.  I’ve done much worse though, I’ve said things like well this wasn’t my decision and I’m sorry this is tough on you but you decided to do it.  It doesn’t help at all, and I try not to make things worse, but its hard.  It’s so hard when all I want to do is beg and plead for him not to do this, just one more baby.  I know he’s right and he’s being the smart one but I can’t help it.  It doesn’t help my cause, when I promise him I won’t hate him for this decision and then I say well it wasn’t my decision and you know how I feel.  I won’t hate him, I don’t hate him, I hate me for being the reason he has to do this.  It’s my fault and I hate me for that, never could I hate or be angry at him.  He’s protecting me, us and there is nothing to hate about that.  I’ve told him these things, he’s been married to me now for almost 10 years, he should know by now I hate myself for how I am, I hate myself enough that there isn’t much leftover for anyone else.  I’m the burden, I’m the crazy wife who can’t do simple every day tasks by herself, who would lose what little sanity she has left if she went through trying to conceive,pregnancy and delivery again.  I’m the guilty one, not the one whose trying to prevent a disaster

Today is just a consultation with an Urologist, an exam maybe, and setting up a date for surgery.  I guess since its one step away from the BIG day, he’s so nervous and stressed by this, acting like he’s never acted before, and I hate seeing him like that.  I want it over with ASAP, so he doesn’t have to feel like this anymore.  I’ll deal with my crap, its just any other day for me and my issues.  He needs more support to get through this, and I suck at that right now.

Friday, March 05, 2010

What they did to me

Before kids, I was simple.  Simple simple.  I didn’t need anything fancy or cute or girly.  I liked jeans, if they fit and showed the bootay well, that’s all I required, the only thing I did look for was price.  Cheap was and still is my friend.  Shoes, were something that kept my feet warm yet drove me insane, I prefer bare feet.  Have I mentioned my feet have claustrophobia?  And shirts, as long as they hid what needed hiding and were cheap, mustn’t forget that, I didn’t have a preference.

See simple.

Then I got pregnant with Bailey.  And liked, gasp, girly stuff.   Then I had Jocelyn and now I want shoes, cute boots, high heels, flats, you name it, I want it.  I want purses and bags, not just the measly two that I have now, but like 10 or so.  I want all sorts of jeans and skirts and dresses and shirts and tops and sweaters and shawls and shrugs….see?!?!

What the crap did they do to me?

Today I did my first girly thing with my daughter.  I painted her toe nails.  Miss has her toes brightly painted and Joss was in awe of them.  She kept touching them and saying pretty.  So I figured, the girl has stopped putting her feet in her mouth, why not see how she handles it now.  She stayed still and watched as I painted each toe.  She now has sparkly light pink, teensy weensy toe nails.

I have to say, I’m excited.  And now I am adding nail polish in all sorts of weird colors to my list of wants.  Because Jocelyn needs it obviously….

Monday, March 01, 2010

My twisted mind

Last week we got Frost, aka Polar Bear, clipped.  He seems to not mind that his ‘boys’ are gone, as he acts no different.  Riddick on the other hand was sad and very clingy for a few days.  Frost, is like “What balls?  Did you throw a ball?  I want to play with a ball? BALLS!”.

But the snipping of one balls reminded us of the snipping of others.  I have reminded Mr. Bo weekly since Jocelyn has been born.  I’m sure you’re wondering why I’d do this since I’m not thrilled with the idea.  Well that’s because in my head, the longer he waits the more I convince myself that maybe he does want more.  I reminded him again….probably during the time Frost was losing his.  And he finally made the appointment. 

I have to say, my mood dropped after he made the phone call.  I went from being in a good mood to feeling like my world was crashing down.  I wanted to crawl under my blanket and sleep it away.  It was like, up until that moment I hadn’t realized it would happen.  I thought that he’d change his mind, that he’d be willing to forget the reasons why we shouldn’t and focus on a teeny baby instead.  Because that’s what I do.  He was shook up afterwards himself but mainly because now the idea was real for him.  He’d lose his balls too.

I had to explain to him why I was so upset, and he was almost willing to cancel.  How do you explain that you want another baby so bad you can feel them laying on you chest but know that its not the right thing to do?  How do you make someone you love believe you when you say you won’t blame them or hate them for making this permanent decision when your not on board?  It was tough.  I hope, I think, he finally understood, since he didn’t cancel.  It’s hard to explain even to myself.  He’s right, I couldn’t mentally handle another pregnancy.  It would add on to my stress, my anxiety and that affects us all.  It wouldn’t be healthy for me, the baby, our kids or us as a couple.  I struggle daily with two, I beat myself up for not being Supermom on a daily basis, and having three would be pure hell and I can’t do that to Bailey and Jocelyn, or Bo.  Knowing this though, it doesn’t take away that need to have another.  To feel a baby kicking inside is beyond amazing.  To hold them for the first time, is incredible.  That closeness that you only get with a newborn.  Ahhhh… 

But the worst part, is that I’ve had dreams every night since of babies.  I find out I’m pregnant, or I’m big with a baby and I feel it moving, or I just had one and I can feel it laying on my chest as if its real.  EVERY. FREAKING. NIGHT.  That makes it rough to get up and stay positive during the day.  It makes that need grow, and makes me sad knowing we can’t. 

The good side of this, is we have adoption if later on Bo says he’s ok with more.  We can give a child a home, a family and the love it needs.  I want to adopt, always have, and its something I look forward to.  It doesn’t diminish that need for another of our own, but it helps.  It helps enough, especially if I keep it at the top of my lists of things to worry/think about.